Girls Astray. [Complete]

That Girl: Lolita's entry

That Girl: Lolita's entry

Published

I'm hurtling down the rabbit hole and I don't think I'll ever stop. Twisting and turning and falling down down down into the deep black ocean of darkness. It consumes me- pulls me in – eagerly- hungrily.

The way you wouldn't. The way no one did. No dropping, no pushing, no looking away.

I want it to take me, to eat me up, to rip my skin until the new one has been shed and like a snake I'll be reborn, my worries shedding away until there's nothing but skin cells and dust. The things that nightmares are made of. That keep you awake at night. That suffocate dreams slowly, excruciatingly.

Nightmares that scream and shout and growl and grimace and bear every white shiny tooth. Glistening, like a wolf, it's buried in charm. Charm that oozes from a poison chalice that embraces you and tells you it's ok to drink.

You are my poisoned apple and I have tasted your sweet juice. Parched; starving; craving you. I need to disappear. To fade away. To forget the poison that I love; the poison that burns me from the inside out and then leaves me hung and dry.

That's it.

I'm ready for the water. The cool blue deep deep calm blue that will cover me like a blanket. Wrapping me up in an icy embrace.

Goodbye my poison.