Girls Astray. [Complete]

That Girl: Lolita's entry

Published

Fix me.

To fix suggests to improve, to alter, to make something better than it could be. To fix means change; positive change. You quickly fix a tap, or fix the lights- these things are easy to fix, but also easy to replace. Interchangeable.

Did you think I was easy to fix? Easy to change, to alter, to meet your needs. Am I the leaky tap in the bathroom that just needs to be twisted in the right places?

You couldn't fix this.

Fix is the wrong word as no improvement happened here, yes a change occurred, happened, but nothing was made better. In fact, I'd say it was the opposite.

A never-ending, vast void being stretched in front of me; ripping the daylight from the sky, the peace from the moonlight, the sparkle from the sun. Everything that was good had gone.

Just like that it was gone. Fixed.

The one thing that could have changed me, the one thing I could have done right, taken: fixed.

Fixed.

The irony is palpable, can you see it now? Are you laughing too? Or does it keep you awake at night? The colour red, the beating of a heart booming in your head, the sound of a distant cry and a gurgle purring here and there. Your eyes reflected in someone else's. The eyes you could guide and nurture. The eyes that you blinded instead. The ones you fixed.

Fix me. Fix me and make me forget.