Girls Astray. [Complete]

Amy: Lolita imagined

Warmth floods my body slowly, it gradually fills every part- my fingers, toes, stomach, shoulders... Every part of me is swelling and swooning, if my feet could smile they would be beaming.

The room sways softly and the colours blur into a huge haze, the peaches and magnolias blurring and mixing into one.

A sea of faces rock across the room, their features moulding into one, the sound of laughter pulsating around the place. I can still see his face though. I could pick it out from a mile away, could identify him among a thousand clones; my Alex.

My stomach flutters like it's turned into a giant butterfly, which eagerly flaps to be released from inside me, to be set free and soar. Gazing into his dimples I feel myself melting in front of him.

"I-I-..." all I can do is stutter behind love struck eyes.

Clumsily, he places a finger on my lips,

"Ssshhhhhh," he slurs before bursting into laughter and dragging me on top of him.

The force of the pull flings us off the sofa and rolling onto the floor, we erupt into a fit of laughter as he rolls across my body. An empty vodka bottle is kicked away by his foot.

Hungrily, I begin to kiss his mouth, his cheeks, his eyelids anywhere I can get hold of. He's mine, all mine.

"Mine," I growl at him like an angry lioness.

"No mine," he roars pinning me to the ground.

"Ahem."

A loud cough breaks our trance for a moment and we glance up in unison, like we're enchanted from a spell. She taps her feet impatiently and my eyes are forced to take her in from toe to head. Yes, toe to foot, to long legs, right up to her blonde mane.

"Fancy a game you two lovebirds?" Zoe winks at Alex mischievously. A hot flush takes over my body, I'm consumed in red hot fire- the warmth is gone- my nails instinctively dig into Alex's flesh; he instantly pulls away from me and sticks his red hand out to Zoe.

"You bet we will," he laughs before turning back to me and hissing, "don't be a bore."

I watch them walk hand in hand towards the gaggle of girls and Tom. Then pour straight vodka down my throat; I can barely feel it burning now, I'm already on fire.

***

And then she stabs me. Right there in the chest, my heart beating on the edge of the knife as she dangles it over Alex's open mouth, blood dripping into his dimples. She may as well have anyway.

She straddles my boyfriend, her lips on his and he doesn't stop her, if  anything he's pulling her in, he wants more... My eyes are glued to the scene in front of me. I know I should look away, but I can't. It's like watching a horror film that terrifies you senseless, but you can't stop watching; accept this time the horror film is my life.

Grabbing hold of the bottle I decide to take charge, it's my turn now. My hands shake in anticipation and the room around me seems to spin with the bottle, it gets smaller and smaller until there's only me and him left- me and Alex. Taking a long drink of a thick brown liquid I imagine the look on his face, it tastes vile and I splutter as it creeps down my throat, my mind getting lighter by the moment. My troubles disappearing...

The bottle stops on Tom- target met. Let's see how you like it Alex. I lurch over to him, stumbling through the circle as I walk, my ankles collapsing from the height of my heels. It doesn't matter, I'm sexy as hell right now.

***

Blackness shrouds me and I can hear the heavy breaths in my ear. I try to move, to escape, but I'm pinned down- under the thudding movements.

Wriggling to set myself free, I'm forced to stop,

"Stay still," a harsh deep voice hisses in my ear- it's not Alex's, "you want it, stay still."

My whole body goes numb, I'm trapped in a nightmare, my body aches, my stomach lurches against the weight on me. Rolling my head to the side, the tears spurt from my eyes, and there's my love- standing hand in hand with her. Watching.

Silently, the tears stream down my face as I read my entry. Is this what happened? How could she go through this and not tell me? Dry tongue, sweaty palms, swollen eyes, I try to breathe slowly, to stop myself from being consumed in it. All I can do is try to help now. We have to find her. My Lolita.

For me this chapter was heartbreaking to write, but incredibly important. Please speak out to someone you trust if you've experienced anything similar.