Girls Astray. [Complete]

Amy: The girl she'll never be

The bell whirs to life and like little robot mice the students scurry and scamper from the classroom, eager to escape. Salivating at the sound of the bell.

Heading to the door, I turn back to find Lolita. She's still sat at her desk, head down, shoulders slumped, her short blonde hair covering her face.

I start to edge closer to her, before I'm intercepted by a huge Cheshire cat grin in my face.

"Amy!"

His smile leisurely spreads and accentuates the little dimples on his baby face.

My knees start to tremble and my insides feel like they're slowly being twisted and wringed out by an old washer-woman who is determined to get rid of a stain, determined to wash away any grime. Automatically, I lick my dry parched lips and then regret it instantly.

Come on Amy, attempt to smile. Get it together. Little by little I raise my chin, mimicking Lolita's gaze in an attempt to look confident. She has that look that drives boy's crazy. All I manage to muster is a croak.

"Tom", rasps my dry, dusty throat. Real sexy Amy.

Still smiling, he squeezes my arm softly, making my fat wobble like jelly under his grip. Hot and flustered, I pull my arm back and look away. God I must be getting red and sweaty, as if I wasn't shiny enough already today. And yet, when I glance back he doesn't look disgusted, he's not even laughing, he's just smiling at me. He's got that look in his eyes again. That look that makes my stomach flip and drop like I'm on a rollercoaster, hurtling towards the top of the ledge...

"Walk me to the canteen?" That smile's still there as he asks.

He tilts his head just a millimetre or so, then leans in so close that I can feel his breath tickling my ear lobe as he whispers, "I can't stop thinking about those red shorts from yesterday."

My heart stops for a moment. Not the red shorts. And the anxiety almost starts to creep up my chest into my throat, covering me completely- then he grabs my hand for just a second and squeezes it, before letting it drop.

His eyes lock with mine for a moment, and for the first time I feel like someone is just looking at me. Only seeing me. Noticing me. Abruptly, I become aware of the closeness between us. The lack of space between his feet and mine. About what, five centimetres? The back of his hand brushes against my thigh and it feels like an electric current vibrating under my skin. The smile spreads across that cheeky face of his again. I open my mouth to speak-

And just like that; the spell is broken.

"Come on loser, we haven't got all day." Lolita's voice cuts the atmosphere like a knife cutting butter.

She rolls her deep brown eyes at me and then strides ahead, straight into the rushing colour and pulsating noise of the most dangerous area of the school: the corridor, I don't think she even noticed him.

Shrugging a little sorry, I quickly look back at Tom, before scuttling after Lolita. The pounding's still in my ears, my pulse racing like there's fire dripping though my veins and then my heart sinks- just a little bit. Like it has little weights pulling it down down into my stomach.

***

"What was all that about?"

Lolita's eyes don't leave her plate as she aimlessly pushes her chips around her fork. The plastic scratches across the paper plate, screeching as it scrapes and squeaks against the surface. My teeth cringe at the noise.

"What do you mean?" I manage to muster through a mouth of baguette and still eyeballing her untouched chips.

She looks up then, her chocolate brown eyes catching mine for a moment: surveying me it seems, assessing the damage.

"Earlier with Tom?"

It's my turn to look at my plate. Lolita's always been the girl that boys like. The girl that boys notice. Whereas I'm the shadow, the tagger-on, the background noise. But- not this time- I smile inwardly at the thought and my mouth opens ready to spill all when-

"Hey babe," a low deep growl joins us, "mind if I sit?"

He's already sitting, one long arm looped around Lolita's shoulder, the other taking her chips.

My mouth's still gaping, I must look like a brain dead fish. Quickly I shut it.

Alex Coleman. The boy on everyone's lips. The football captain. Straight As in every subject. Lolita's current boyfriend.

"Alright Aimes?" He nods in my direction, before looming in on Lolita. And the sucking face commences. Time to stare at my lunch awkwardly again.

"Go on Alex!"

A moronic voice jeers in our direction. I follow where the noise has come from and see Tom standing amongst a group of about ten boys all staring in our direction, or rather her direction.

Lolita breaks away from Alex suddenly, leaning over the table, she glances over her shoulder and looks at Tom, then turns and faces me.

Her voice is low and hush, like she's worried someone's listening.

"Tom. Be careful OK?"

I open my mouth to speak- but just as quick as she spoke, she's now attached to Alex's face again.

Tom and his cronies are still hovering around, making what sounds like monkey noises. Boys. I stare at my lunch morosely, how could I think that he liked me? It must have been Lolita all along. Of course it was Lolita. The embarrassment grows inside of me and yet my shoulders slump and I feel myself becoming smaller and smaller.

The status quo will never change around here. I should know.