Girls Astray. [Complete]

Amy: The girl who paused

The water runs slowly into the white bath tub and I can't help but notice how pure the sound is as the water rushes out of the tap. I close my eyes and listen for a moment, but then I snap them open and run my hand under the tap. Just right, I think.

"Lo!" I call out, "your bath's ready!" 

Sheepishly, she shuffles into the bathroom, then, starts pulling the huge hoodie over her head.

"I'll let you get on-" I mutter, averting my eyes from her jutting ribs and close the door slowly behind me.

I scroll through my phone, I know who I should call: Lolita's Mum, my parents, her sister, even Tom, but there is only one person on my mind.

"Alex," I whisper into the phone once he picks up.

"Aimes- what's wrong?" He sounds croaky and grouchy like he's just woken up and I can't help but picture his sleep filled eyes squinting up at me- stop.

"I've found her."

The room spins and years pass as I wait to hear Alex's reply. I should be happy, I am happy and yet- all I can think of is that he will want her now. Not me. And that's right, that's fine, but-

"Where are you?"

"Lolita's, but I don't think you should come just yet- she's so fragile and-"

The phone beeps at me. He's on his way. My heart sinks a little and it feels like a giant is pressing down on my shoulders, making everything a little heavier, a little harder.

My head lolls forward into the palms of my hands. How can I feel like this? Be thinking about me when Lolita is like that?

***

My eyes fly open and all I can hear is banging. A dull ache courses through my neck like a small animal had been stomping on it. The banging gets louder.

Hazily, I look around- I'm in Lolita's flat, shit, I must have fallen asleep.

"I'm coming!" I call out mid yawn as I rub my sore eyes.

I open the door and there he is, the knight in shining armour ready for his princess.

"Why didn't you answer my calls?" He asks as he barges past me, "Lolita! Lo are you OK?"

"She's fine Alex, just having a bath."

He stops. Then very slowly he turns back towards me, his face twists from worry to something else- realisation? Pity? Horror?

"What?" I ask, but my heart starts to hammer in my chest as I look at his frozen face.

He turns and rushes to the bathroom and starts hammering on the door.

"Lolita! Lolita open up!" And then he pounds his fists on the door, each bang making me cringe from the force of it.

I touch his shoulder, trying to calm him down but he shrugs me off.

"Don't touch me you idiot!" He turns around and snarls at me like an animal,
"Why would you leave her on her own?"

He runs away from the door then barges into it, then runs at it again and again until the door shudders open.

The realisation hits me like a tonne of bricks. I'm responsible for this. This is my fault.

"No! No! Lolita!" I hear Alex screaming from the bathroom, his shouts echoing through the room, but I don't enter. I'm frozen to the spot. I want to move, I want to run, I want to scream, anything but standing like a useless statue. But I can't- I'm trapped here in my fear.

"Call 999!" I hear the cry but I can't take it in, it feels like I'm watching him shout, watching him shout to help on a film or far away and I'm just observing, I'm not really here, part of it. I can almost see me, hovering outside the room, not moving, just watching, waiting.

Two huge hands grab me and shake me until I'm back in the room.

"Call 999 now!"

"Go!" He screams at me, "for god's sake now!"

I hover for a moment and then suddenly pound down the hallway and pick up the phone. My arms are covered in blood from where he touched me.

"999. We have an emergency- a girl has hurt herself- there's so much blood..."