Ms. Funny Voice| ✓

Sleeping Sucks

Sometimes I just hate sleeping.

I hate the feeling that you're alone, that the darkness at any second could come and consume you. I especially hate it when you can't even sleep. Cause when you can't sleep, you think, and when you think, it feels like your brain is going to explode. You think about how you are alive, how you might not be the only ones here in the world. You think about that small little moment in school or somewhere that you were before that was super amazing, or just really, really, embarrassing.

And, of course, then you can't sleep.

This right here, is me right now. (It is also everyone when they try to sleep.)

My life is just like a gigantic mess right now. I just have no words honestly. I feel like no matter how many times I try, everything just collapses around me and my life. Everyone has their own problems, even the perfect people have, and it's so strange to think about that, even for a second. I just can't sleep, or move, or anything really.

I tried watching my favorite Youtubers, I tried listening to music, I tried eating, heck I even tried walking in the cold dead night outside! That one thing in your mind, it just doesn't go away unless you move on. But that's the thing: I can't move on. And, if I tried to, I would just give in to it, and I would just have a mental breakdown. (Like most people) And then, let's just say, I will be with Allie above.

I stared at the white, dusty ceiling for what felt like an eternity. I felt numb, like I already felt the pain and I'm just recovering. I tried everything to help me sleep, at least make me feel tired so I could escape this very real nightmare.

I was just about to drift off when I heard my door creak. I looked up to see Sam. he was wearing his favorite PJ's that were his favorite TV show, The Supers. In fact, his whole outfit was some sort of reference to it. His sleeping mask was well...a mask. He even had a red cape that Mr. Super wore in the show.

He looked at me with bagged eyes, hinting that he couldn't sleep as well. He walked inside my bedroom and stared at me. "Anna? Why are you awake? It's..." He looked at the clock that was on my nightstand. "It's...12:45 at night. Is everything OK?" He asked with concern in his eyes.

I desperately wanted to tell him everything but.. I just couldn't. I could tell by his eyes that he was already sad and broken by dad leaving this morning. I didn't want anyone to worry, not my friends, and not my family. Maybe, when things cooled down and everything was normal again, I would tell them what happened.

"I'm OK Sam," I said, fake smiling. "I just can't sleep, that's all, Why are you up?"

Sam closed my bedroom door and sat down on the foot of my bed. Now that he was closer to me, I could see that he was actually tired. Not that kind of tired when a High schooler complains about being tired, no. Sam was genuine tired. So tired that he looked like he was going to pass out.

"I can't sleep either, Anna. I feel like something's not right, like something bad happened, and I just can't shake the feeling off."

 I was puzzled. Am I allowed to tell Sam? No. I can't. I promise from now on to protect my family and friends, and I'm going to keep that promise until I die.

"Sam, I'm pretty sure that it's just a bad feeling. If anything happened, I would tell you first thing, OK? You are safe here, you have mom and me, so if anything happens, you tell one of us OK?"

 I assured him. I didn't want Sam to worry about what happened with dad and Allie. He already lost him, I don't want him to lose his childhood, too.

"Thanks, Anna I just hope you're right."

 Sam hugged me, and walked out my room. I was shocked (for like the 3rd time today). I didn't think I would live to see the day that Sam hugged me. In case you haven't noticed, Sam never hugs me, never less thanks me for something. I smiled to myself, closed the door, and looked out my window.

I looked at the moon, stars, and just the outside world I guess. It's funny how nature is beautiful, but we as a person, think we are ugly. (A.K.A me) We think that because let's face it: words hurt. Even if it's in a a jokingly manner, words hurt. A lot. Trust me, I've had a lot of experience with that, and you just want to disappear and not really be alive anymore.

I still can't believe it.

My dad killed Allie just because he cheated on mom, and now I have an idea why Austin bullies me. Because he is still dealing with the death of his mother that died for no good reason. I hated my dad before, but now I just... I just can't call him dad right now.

I walked away from the window, still not tired, and texted Alison. I completely forgot about her since the incident. I still feel bad for that too. You would think that I would never forgot my first friend, but since all this drama started, I just kinda forgot her.

Alison and I were just chatting when she brought up Ms. Funny Voice. I completely forgot about her too.

(I am best youtuber on planet earth.)

she was mostly talking about how she hasn't updated in like forever, and how she has seen the video about a thousand times. So that's how I have like 3 million views on it. Oh.. Yeah I better start updating or else Alison is going to rant all day and everyday. But now that brings up the question: what song am I going to do?

I finished chatting with Alison and checked how my video was doing. The 3 million views has changed to 10 million views! I was both shocked and happy right now. I'm finally getting recognition for my work! All my life I have been bullied, been told that I could never really do anything, and now here I am on YouTube!

With that happy note, I closed my computer, shut my window, and went into my bed. Ever since I found out my dad's secret, my life has changed forever. (Said every movie ever.) Yes, of course there will be my ups and downs, but in the end, I know I have my friends to cover my back, and best of all, I know that no matter what challenges come my way, I can take them down.

With that last thought I eventually went to sleep, not knowing the problems I will face tomorrow.  

I hoped you enjoyed this chapter! I would like to thank each and everyone of you for the nice comments, helpful feedback, and reading this in general! You guys motive me to write, and I just think that that's a powerful thing. I would also like to thank you guys so so so much for 847 reads and 88 votes! I never thought I would get at least 10 reads! I thought this book would fail if I'm being honest, but it just blew up! So, once again, thank you guys SO much for reading and voting, it just means so much to me and I just can't thank you guys enough for that!