Finding You(on hold)

The Big Move

Melody

"All I need is my sweet Melody," he sang into the phone as he strummed the last chord on his guitar. I don't know why but I always liked it more when he sang to me over the phone, it was nice hearing him sing to me when ever I spent the weekend at his, apartment but it's just knowing that he still wants to impress me even though I'm not even there.

"Melody, you know I love you right?"

"Yes baby, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, because I'm not there for you like I was, and then I was spending more time with Riley,"

"Collin, she was your girlfriend, I'm glad you spent time with her. Yes, I was jealous sometimes, but it showed me who are around your girl friends and let me know that this could work, even if you are two hours away in Nashville, and you were there for me. Remember the night you told me you loved me?"

"Yeah, I do," his voice gave away he was smiling, even though it's not there I smile back.

"I was bawling my eyes out over my parents and what they say at two in the morning and you listened, you kept telling that I only has four of school left then I could get away from it all, get away from them. I told yo that was going to change how they felt about me, and wasnt going to me from screwing everything up like I have. Do you remember what you said after that?"

"Yeah,"

'And what was that?"

"I said I loved a girl who didn't see herself like she should. I said I didn't if she screwed up but it meant that I could fix it for her. I said I loved you. But then you told me I was just saying that because no one would ever love you."

" I still can't believe I said that, for a hopeless romantic I sure know how to ruin the moment,"

" You didn't ruin it, yeah it kinda hurt that you didn't say it back right away but I understood you were hurt." He waited for an answer but I didn't know what to say. I was hurt then. I still am. Not by him, he'd never hurt me, he doesn't yell like everyone else. The only time he's ever raised his voice at me is when he found me at Paul's house drinking with some of his friends. Even then he only asked me not to go there again and I promised I wouldn't. He knew I had been hurt before, he knew when we started out that it wasnt to get as far as he ever grew to love me enough for marriage he knew it'd be no use in asking because I'd never say yes. I would love to spend the rest of my life in love with him, but not by marriage. I'd seen how marriage works these days and don't want to go through it. My parents never married because my mother already was when she found out she was pregnant with me, my step dad was furious they fought all the time and both had begun drinking. My mother was a cruel as well as my step-father. My mother had never hit me but the things she said drunk or sober could make you assume she did. Collin knew because that I would never marry.

"Melody?"

"huh, oh sorry I was thinking,"

"Pancakes..." this was or code word when talking about my parents. I'd always been too ashamed to say the real words so he decided to make it easier and give us a code word.

"You should leave won't get any better."

"I know but where would I go? I can't move to Nashville Daddy because he'll be moving to New York soon."

"If you wanted you could move here with me"

"No Collin, you and I both to worry about and we don't need to be distracting each other."

"It wouldn't be that bad I'm taing core classes this semester so everything will be like high school. Plus I could help you out."

"I don't need help."