KATE RAMIREZ
POINT OF VIEW__________________
______________SOUNDTRACK:
DON'T FORGET ME
- SUZY (Of Miss A)Followed By:
CRYING AGAIN
-Moon Myung Jin"What a great Song Choice."- Nilapitan ko si Kenzo saka ko siya tinabihan. He's hurt, I could tell. Kanina palang noong kumakanta siya, alam ko ng merong mali.
"Wag ngayon, Kate."
I raised my hands in mock surrender. "Wala pa naman akong ginagawa ah?"- I told him. "Let me guess, Not in the mood again?"- nailing ako. "Ano pabang bago Kenzo? Ever since Bumalik yang Elise nayan nagkaganyan kana naman."
Kapag si Kenzo kasi ang tumatambay dito mag-isa sa Sea Side sa likod ng Bar ni Ate Kiara, Matic nayun na may problema siya. So I approached him, at hindi naman ako nagkamali.
Nilunok niya ang Last Drop ng alak na iniinom niya saka niya ibinato ang bote sa dagat.
"Does that made you feel better?"
Tahimik niya akong nilingon. Nanatili lang siyang ganon. Tahimik na nakatingin sakin habang nakakunot ang noo.
"Anong meron sa kanya na wala sakin Kenzo?"- tanong ko saka ako nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya. Napatingin ako sa buwan. And I'd like to consider This as a date, Cause I know that this is going to be the Last. "Kenzo?"- pagtawag ko sa pangalan niya. Hindi naman siya nagdalawang isip na muli akong lingunin. "I'm tired."- I confessed. "Pagod na akong maghintay sayo, pagod na akong habulin ka."
"Ano na naman ba ito Kate?"- inis na tanong niya.
"I just wanna know, Did you actually care about me? Or was it all just a game? Was it really just a game to you? Like, you befriended me and then it actually became legit. and things both went wrong in our lives, and then you get stuck with me. and then you just decided you didn't need me anymore. and you needed a reason to hate me so you could shut me out. then I wouldn't be trying to call you, Right? That's what it was, Right? Because I meant Literally nothing to you. That's how you play. That's your game. That's how you played me and everybody else before me. and I was stupid enough to believed that you can actually change for me. That I can actually Change you."- I paused. Tumingala ako saka ko pilit na pinigilan ang pagpatak ng luha ko. "Tama ang lahat ng sinabi ko diba? If it's not true, then show me how it's not true."- napahikbi ako bago ko muling itinuloy ang pagsasalita. "Show me how, Kenzo. Show me how it's not true. Because something like what we had doesn't just crash and burn after somebody's mistake. You're supposed to grow, but you never let me grow."
"Kate."
"I wanted us to last, you know? Ayokong makitang mapunta ka sa iba. Kaya bumalik ako. Bumalik ako sayo but you just didn't want me anymore. Remember that Night when you were supposed to go to the Ball with Elise? Nagbakasakali ako noon na babalik tayo sa dati, na kaya mo ulit akong mahalin. Pero sabi mo tama na eh, sabi mo hindi mo naman talaga ako minahal. Sinabi mo noon na wag na kitang guluhin dahil iba na ang gusto mo at si Elise yun. That fucking hurts, you know? But I guess I understand."- tumango-tango ako. "I tried to move on from you, again. I really tried just like how you are trying to move on from Elise Right now. Pinili ko na noon na layuan ka eh, pero isang araw, nalaman ko nalang na umalis na si Elise and that she even cut off all her ties with you and her friends. So I tried to enter your life again, hoping na pipiliin mo na ako ulit. I was there for you when You were trying your best to get her out your mind. every single time and Every single night that you spent with me, crying yourself to sleep because of Elise? Dahan-dahang nawawasak yung puso ko Kenzo. Hindi lang ikaw ang Broken nung mga Panahong yun, ako din Kenzo. And you didn't even realized how Hurt I was. You were with me, but your heart belongs to her. Pumayag akong maging Friends with benefits tayo kasi ayokong mawala ka sakin. Hanggang sa nagbago kana. Ayaw mo na talaga sa ibang babae, kahit sakin. Nagbago ka Kenzo, nagawa mo. At ang sakit lang non sa part ko kasi ako yung kasama mo, pero nagbago ka dahil kay Elise. At hanggang ngayon Nasasaktan ako dahil nagkakaganyan kapa rin dahil sa kanya. Dahil parin kay Elise."- doon na ako tuluyang napaiyak.
"Ang bigat lang kasi Kenzo. Sobrang bigat na kasi sa dibdib na magpanggap na okay lang sakin ang lahat kahit hindi naman talaga. I'm not that strong, Kenzo. I'm not. I tried to be strong for you, pero hindi ko na kaya eh. Sinandalan mo lang ako, pero si Elise parin yung mahal mo. ang sakit lang kasi ako yung nauna, pero mas minahal mo siya. Mas pinili mo siya."
Mas naiyak ako nung niyakap niya na ako.
It's time, kate. It's time to finally end your unrequited Love with Kenzo Sison.
"I'm sorry Kate."- naibulong niya habang yakap-yakap niya parin ako.
"It's okay, I understand everything now."
"I'm so sorry."- bumitaw siya sa pagkakayakap sakin saka niya ako hinarap "I was such a jerk to you, big time. and I'm so sorry, Kate. I'm really sorry."
"It feels right."- naibulong ko saka ko narin agad pinunasan ang mga luha ko. "Thank you for apologizing to me, Kenzo. Maybe that is just what I've been wanting to hear from you."
"You deserve better, Kate. But I couldn't be better for you."
"Because your heart is for someone else, right? And it's okay. We cannot force love anyways and that's okay."- nginitian ko siya. Yung sincere na ngiti. I know I'm still hurt pero tanggap ko na. "So this is it, I guess? This is the part where we have to say goodbye from each other?"
"Umiwas kana sa katulad ko, okay?"
Napailing ako saka bahagyang natawa. I don't want someone like him, I want him. But it's not mutual and all that's left for me is to move on. So I will move on.
"Goodbye, Kenzo."
"Thank you for everything, Kate."- sabi niya. "Goodbye."
Tinalikuran ko na siya. Hindi pa ako nakakalayo sa kanya ay napaiyak nalang ulit ako. Sobrang sakit pala talaga no? Ang magparaya.
"Kate."
Sinalubong ako ni Marco saka niya ako niyakap.
"Marco.😢💔"- napahagulhol nalang ako saka ko isinusob ang muka ko sa dibdib ni Marco.
"It's okay, you did it. and You'll be okay, Kate. I know you will be."