Don't Ever Leave Me [Lashton]

part 11

hello im back and with a new chapter. sorry that all of the other ones have been so short i will make this one as long as possible:) 

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Ashton's POV

im so confused because i mean i like kaitlin but then i love luke. its so confusing like oh my gosh. 

right now im in my bunk thinking if i should tell luke or not. i think i should but then im like scared to tell him. i mean he needs to know because he is my bestfriend and i just want him to know. 

yep i think i should tell him. im so gonna tell him about kaitlin. 

i sigh and rub my hands over my eyes and jump off my bunk and head into the back room. i walk inside thinkng no one was there but i see luke sitting on the couch using his phone. "hey luke?" i say. ugh i cant believe im going to tell him. "what's up?" he tells me looking up from his phone. is it down a few feet away from him and say, "i um have to tell you something. well michael and calum told me not to tell you because yeah so anyway um i was going to tell you that..." i pause for amoment and sigh. "i was going to tell you that i like kaitlin.." i finaly said it and i look at my hands which were sitting there on my lap. 

oh my god i have really long fingers. i just noticed that, and they're attached to my hands and im barely noticing that oh god. i look up and see luke looking at the ground. "luke?" i ask looking at him. "luke say something," i say to him worried of what he is going too say. "um yeah, okay, well if you um really like her, i think you should ask her out.." he says sounding disappointed. "um i have to go, ill talk to you later," he says standing up, "luke wa-" i start to say but then get cut off by a door closing. 

sigh. was that a bad idea?? i think it was. ugh.

Luke's POV

H-he likes kaitlin, what the hell does she have that i dont?! oh yeah i forgot she is a girl, and she's pretty and she is skinny. 

ugh i wish he liked me instead of her but he is straight so of course he wouldnt like me. ugh. 

"luke? you okay there mate?" i hear a worried michael say. "yes im fine, just feeling eh because ashton told me something but im fine" i say to them. 'im fine' is the biggest lie anyone could ever say. 

when someone says 'im fine' that really means that they are not fine, it means that there is something wrong but they  just dont want people to worry about them. 

"luke, whenever you say 'im fine' it actually mean there is something wrong, what's wrong?" calum asks me. i cant tell them im bi, i cant tell them i have feelings for ashton. that will just ruin this whole band. im still thinking if i should tell them that im bi or i like ashton but im scared of what they will think of me. 

"i feel like you dont trust us anymore, it's like you're not even our best friend anymore.." michael said, ugh now he is making me feel bad of not telling them anything, i will just tell them im gay, i will tell them that i have feelings for ashton when i am ready to tell them. 

"im sorry, but i think im ready to tell you what im hiding from you. im sorry that i have been hiding things from you but like i just needed time to think if i should tell you or not, i mean you guys are my best friends and you need to know, but im not telling everything because im scared you might think im weird and kick me out of them band," i say, i sigh and think 'i cant believe im about to tell them im gay but they have to know, i not gonna tell them i like ashton by the way' okay, here i go.. "umm well im gay, i like this certain person not saying their name but yeah. dont judge me please i cant handle the hate.." i say and look down. "you- you're- what? since when?" i hear both of the boys say, ugh. "like about 2 years ago, im just not saying his name..." i say. "well im going to take a nap," i say to them, i turn around and walk to where the bunks are, i lay down in mine and think 'ugh i just want to sleep and never ever wake up ever again' 

Calum's POV

is it wrong that i kinda knew that this day would come?? and sometimes i wonder if he likes ashton because luke, he sometimes looks at him in a special way. a way that is good of course but like he looks happy when he is with him. when jennifer came and told him that she wanted to make things better between them, luke was kinda disappointed, but then him and ashton hung out and it seemed like luke didnt even noticed that jennifer was even here. 

but hey im not sure, i dont know if he doesnt like ashton but he is still our best friend i mean it is okay if he is gay i mean he is still fun and weird and crazy like always! but wait, what did ashton tell him?? oh god dont tell me that ashton told him that he liked kaitlin because whenever luke heard or saw kaitlin he would flip. i need to ask ashton if he did tell him. 

"hey michael, have you seen ashton anywhere?" i ask michael who is sitting on the couch playing games on his phone. "he told me that he went down to the little cafe like 5 minutes from here." "oh okay thanks mikey," i say to him, i hear him giggle? since when did michael gordon clifford giggle. "did you just giggle?" i ask him, "what? pssh....no.." he says, "it's cute, well i will talk to you later mike, bye," i tell him, i grab my jacket and head to the cafe that is 5 minutes away from the bus. 

i walk inside the little cafe, ah the smell of muffins and coffee, it smells really good in here. 

i look around and i spot a curly haired boy sitting there, it must be ashton of course. "hey ash!" i say sitting across from the boy who sipped from his coffee. "oh hey cal, what are you doing here?" he asks me looking up from his phone. "oh nothing, i just came here to ask you something," i tell him, if he did tell luke about him liking kaitlin oh my god i would flip because i specifically told him not to say a word to him.

"sure, ash me anything," he tells me with a cheeky smile. "did you tell luke that you liked kaitlin??" i ask him, his smile faded and turned into a frown. "yeah i did," weird, he seemed a bit sad. "you okay?" i ask, "um yeah, i dont know i was just scared of telling him i like kaitlin, but everything is fine i mean he did seem a bit disappointed i was wondering why but yeah everything is fine i guess." he tells me, oh gosh what is with these boys and being sad all of a sudden. 

"well i dont know what his deal is but what's yours? i just asked you if you told luke that you liked kaitling and then your smile turned into a frown, is everything okay? oh and by the way, why were you scared of telling luke??" "um..i cant tell you. sorry.." he says, i get up and say "okay, well when you are ready to tell me, you know where i am," i tell him and walk away. 

ugh i feel like no one ever wants to tell me or michael anything anymore. it feels like this is not a band anymore, i mean yeah we play together but like i dont know i feel like luke is still hiding things from me and now ashton is hiding things, ugh. its like this band is now '5 seconds of secrets' 

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hello beautifuls! so while i was writing this i remembered that yesterday i said '5 seconds of supper' so i dont know i just came up with '5 seconds of secrets' because everyone in this story is keeping secrets so yeah i just made that up

VOTE. COMMENT. AND ADD TO LIBRARIES 

xx 

Jocie