We Just Are (GU #1.5)

22 : date

I was speechless. Like I opened my mouth but my brain apparently became frozen and I could not form a response, even a word. Ganito ba kalamig sa Baguio at naapektuhan na ang utak ko?

I shook my head. Get it together, CN.

After some breathing exercise, I finally reached for the hand that Slade offered to me. I was sure mine was a little shaky and cold, the exact opposite of the warmth of his palm.

Slade smiled when our hands touched. Pagkatapos ay bahagya siyang yumuko sa harap ko, ang kamay kong hawak niya ay inilapit sa bibig at hinalikan iyon.

I bit my lip as the current I felt where Slade put a kiss on my skin flowed through every single vein of my body. At hindi nakatulong nang tumuwid siya ng tayo ay may sumilay na nakakapigil-hiningang ngisi sa labi niya.

Ugh. He still knew how to use his charms. And why the hell until now I was still not immune to it?

"Let's go?" Slade asked and before I could even nod, he gently ushered me to where the table was.

Saglit niya akong binitiwan para mahila iyong upuan at saka nagmuwestra siya na umupo ako. Tiningnan ko lang siya pagkatapos ay umupo na rin. Pumunta si Slade sa kabilang inokupa na rin ang upuan sa harapan ko.

Gaya ng kanina ko pa ginagawa, tiningnan ko siya. Nagtataka kung bakit kami nandito. Kung bakit niya naisipang isorpresa ako nang ganito. Because, honestly, with the situation the two of us was currently in, this was the last thing I could think of that can happen for today.

And that silent question didn't stay longer in my thoughts as I asked it aloud. "What is this for, Slade?"

Kahit na ang ilaw lang mula sa mga kandila ang pinagkukunan namin ng liwanag, hindi nakaligtas sa akin ang pag-iiba ng ekspresyon sa mukha ni Slade. Somehow, my question rattled him a little bit; his confidence was wavering a little.

Then he didn't try to mask it anymore with a confident smirk or friskiness in his eyes. Slade sighed, a heavy one, as he answered, "This is my kind of way of making it up to you. For two days of not talking. For what I've said the last time. For not hearing you out first. For keeping you worried of me, and for...hurting you."

Nanginig ang boses ni Slade kaya't huminto siya. Huminga na naman nang malalim saka nagsalita ulit. "I trully feel like I'm the biggest d-bag because of what I did, Celestine. And I can't even make as an excuse what I was going through that day. Dahil hindi dapat. It's still wrong to think of you like that, to let my temper went out of control. But I was just so damn afraid. The truth is, I am still afraid even now.

"I never felt intimidated my whole life until that night. Until I saw you two, together. He's your first boyfriend, technically your first love. And my thoughts just went spiral. I thought of worst things, I thought of terrible things."

Doon ay inabot ko na ang kamay ni Slade. He was oblivious to it but as he talked, his hands were trembling.

"You're right," sagot ko. "Jasper once held that position in my heart, in my life. But I want you to understand, Slade, that's all in the past. I'm living in the present now...with you. And in my present, you're it, the one I love, the one in my heart. And I happen want it to stay like that, tomorrow, the day after that..." Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kamay niya. "And some more days after that, weeks after that, months after that, years after that."