Between Living and Love || Complete ✔

//3//

I arrived at the campus with a sick feeling in my stomach. Knowing the Alex just confessed his love to me about one of my best friends is almost a cruel thing to do to someone who actually has feeling for you. It's not his fault, I don't think he knew. Last night -- morning was an awful experience, and to think I fell for someone who might've felt the same way, but didn't. Is horrible. I feel like this was only the beginning of a tragic story. A story filled with chaos, ruins and heartbreaks.

But hey, I can't tell the future. I can't say "I'm going to get hit by a car today" without knowing if I was actually going to get hit by a car today. Besides, I think the only person who can actually tell the future is -- was my grandma. While she made cookies, I'd be asking her if she thinks I would pass my exams. She would reply with "I am not sure; but I predict that you're going to love these cookies!". The good old days, filled with misery and sorrow. Mum is still mourning over her own mother's passing. -so am I-. I have to get back to reality. The cruel reality this world owns.

"Hey Em! I didn't see you in during the lecture with Catto. Boy, are you lucky." A voice murmured. I turn to my left, only to see that Maya -along with the other girls- were walking right beside me. I've only just realized that I'm not the one moving my wheelchair, but it was a face I'm not so familiar with. She must've enrolled quite recently. "Oh, and meet Carrie. She's new and for some reason, we're in charge of showing her around. We've gotten close though." As Maya introduces me to Carrie, I shake her hand as I examine her head-to-toe. Her hair was up is a neat ponytail, she had black glasses and she was rather small. "Carrie here, plays the violin and the piano. I can't even get my hands on one!" Ella announces from the back.

After classes ended, Carrie walked me home. More like pushed me home. Apparently, she's still looking for a place to stay, so I offered her to become my roommate. So now, at least six people live in this "sorority house"? Falynn, Jenny and I share a room on the second floor. Maya and Lisa stays right across ours on the same floor. Carrie will be rooming with them now.

The first floor is basically where we hang out, the living room is packed with girls on Friday nights with popcorn -or churros if you were Ana and you didn't like popcorn-. The kitchen is where Jenny and I would cook dinner, it's also where the most important item in the house lives. The Fridge. We caught Falynn and Lisa having their midnight-ish snacks, but instead of putting the back to bed like what we were supposed to do. We joined them.

"You can room with Maya and Lisa. Each room is meant to have three people each anyway." I said while texting the girls about out new roommate. Carrie thanked me with a big smile.

We are just a block away from the house, this is when we would usually need to cross the road. The unusually steep road. It's not much of a problem, but when you're on a wheelchair, it's not exactly easy to keep the wheels going with your hand. I have Carrie this time though, so everything's fine.

We were just about to cross when we bumped into Ella who was walking in the same direction. We stopped for a small chat when I started to feel like they were getting further away. Physically. It got faster, as if I'm rolling down a hill. I thought it was just my mind; Grace says I'll be experiencing some illusions for a while, it's a part of KPD. I continued to sit there like I normally would, until I realized it wasn't my head playing games. They were really far away. I couldn't hear a thing they were saying. I snapped back to reality when Ella screamed "WATCH OUT!" It was then when I saw myself in the middle of the road, with cars trying to dodge this helpless creature. All succeeded but one. It was going full speed as if it's intention was to hit me. Everything blacked out then. Just black and even darker shadows walking on me like dead souls ready to take me up.

~

It felt like it was days when I finally woke up in a bed, facing up to the crimson white walls. This doesn't look like a hospital room. I don't see the group of doctors and specialists crowding around me with fancy tools and notes in their hands. I don't have tubes attached to my nose. It was as if I was normal again.

"Don't get any ideas. You're not dead either. Think of it as, your lucky day." A voice whispers. Even if it was a whisper, it can be heard from all around. Like someone is sitting there, watching me while speaking to a mic. Like the loudspeakers were turned up to its loudest volume. I turn to see nobody but white.

I got up without hesitation to start looking for whoever it was that spoke to me. Everything was white, the walls, the floor and the ceiling. There weren't any windows or doors. Like I was stuck here forever.

"You're not stuck here forever. At least not for now. Just listen make a decision and leave. What ever you're thinking about right now. I can hear it. Don't try to look for a way out, I'm already ahead of you. "

Fine, you can hear me. I don't need to talk then. What do you want? Why am I here?

"When I created you, I was proud. I felt proud everytime I created life. But you, something was different. Like you were special. "

You're not answering the question. What do you want? Why am I here? Answer them first before you explain anything else.

"Very well. I want you to make a decision. Between living and love. You are here to decide your fate. Most humans don't get this chance to change their future, most of them think if they keep doing good, the same things will come to them. They call it a miracle. Something they have to wait for."

Hold on, I am here to decide between living and love? I don't understand.

"After your accident, you went into a coma. It's been two days since and you haven't woken up. You have to decide whether you want to continue living or risk it all for love. If you choose to live, you won't get the chance to love. You will fall in love, but none will feel the same way. Not just true loves, but family members and friends won't as well. If you choose love, you will wake up from your coma and will have a chance to love. But once you do, you will only have days before your KPD takes your breathing abilities. You will come back here and watch the ones whom you love move on.

That's horrible. I want to live, but I want to love at the same time. Can't I choose both? Why am I given this chance in the first place? What did I do to deserve such a punishment?

"Child, it is not a punishment. But a reward, if the right choice is chosen. So choose carefully."

Do I really have to choose now? It's too sudden, I can't think straight right now. Then she'll let me go and I'll avoid all chances to make a decision.

"I heard that"

Dammit. But why? Why am I given the chance to choose my fate? Why am I allowed to choose whether I die or not? Why?

"Your fate, was decided before. On May the first, somebody prayed hard to let you live. Let you have the chance to choose your fate. They called it a miracle. They wanted a miracle to happen to you. Originally, you had the choice to live normally or continue your life as it is. Something went wrong along the way, so now, you have to choose between living and love."

That's harsh. You can't be pushing me to make a decision right now, there's too much going on. Can't you give me a few days to decide?

"Very well. You have five days to decide. If you don't, your life will be taken just like that. Without explanation, no expert on earth can solve your sudden death. I know it's unfair, but it isn't up to me. If I was in charge, I would have spares you child. I'm sorry. "

--
At that moment, there was a bright spark of light that shone right before my eyes. My eyes flickered a few times to adjust the on the brightness. It dimmed and I began to see again.

This time, there are no crimson walls, no voices coming from all directions but doctors and specialists with notes and fancy tools. That's when I realized, my life is really on the line.