Something Missing [Daryl Dixon Love Story]

Chapter Twenty-One

(Picture is how I picture Dakota, actress is Elle Fanning)

Chapter Twenty-One

“Will you walk with me? I want to talk to you.” I say after what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence.

            My request seems to catch him off guard. “I guess.”

            I begin walking. “I wanted to tell you that you were right…when you said that I just wanted to feel sorry for myself. Someone I once knew told me that I was always more concerned about the welfare of others before myself and I tried to change that about myself. I tried to make it so I focused more on my own needs but it only made me worse of a person. I directed all the blame on myself starting with my mom’s death when I was younger. Ever since them I’ve always had the air of self-pity. Poor little Emma, she kills everyone she loves.” I laugh bitterly and briefly wonder if he’s still listening. “I guess what I am trying to say is that I’m going to stop being so pathetic.”

The silence made me unsure of my decision but I had to do something. I cleared my throat and stopped walking. “I need to go to Miami and I want you to go with me.”

            Immediately his forehead furrowed and he looked at me suspiciously. “Miami? As in Florida? Why the hell do you all the sudden need to go to Miami? What about the girl and the dog?”

            “I was planning to take Beck…but it wouldn’t be safe for Dakota. I won’t be able to watch her all the time.” I intentionally avoided his first question. He couldn’t know why I needed to go.

            “Okay, so why me?”

            “I figured you don’t like being here all the time, but you don’t have to come. I’m just fine on my ow—“

            He laughed but it wasn’t comforting. “Just fine on your own, are you? Have you seen yourself lately? You can’t go a day without a panic attack or having random mood swings. As for whether I like being here or not it’s sure as hell a lot better than running. I’m tired of running. I’ve been doing it my whole goddamn life.”

            Normally, I’d be hurt from what he’s saying but I was tired of running, too. Instead, he just pissed me off. “You know what? Nevermind, I don’t want you to come. What was I thinking? That little friendship was just a charade and I’ll admit that I bought into it for a while but I get it now. You just felt bad for me. Right?” I shook my head. “I’ll be gone in a few days and you won’t have to worry about dealing with me anymore. Have a nice night, Mr. Dixon.”

I got the urge to stomp away like a stubborn kid but I was done with the brat routine. I waited, instead, to see what he would do. “Tell me; is this another of your suicide missions?”

            I raised an eyebrow. Did he really just say that? “You’re an asshole. I cannot believe I even considered asking you.” This time I just walked away, Beck trailing closely behind. What have I gotten myself into?

When I get back to the cabin everyone is awake. I need to find Dakota so I can spend the last few days with her. She can’t know I am leaving, she would try to follow but I can’t just let her think I left because I didn’t want her around. I need her to know that I was never trying to leave her behind…especially if I die before I find my way back.

            I find Ruth washing clothes in a bucket of water in the kitchen. “Hey, Ruth, have you seen Dakota?”

            She looked up at me irritably. “Yes, her and the no good boy are out by the creek. Said they’re ‘taking a walk’.”