Something Missing [Daryl Dixon Love Story]

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Three

I continued our lessons for the next three days. I wanted two things out of this. 1. If something were to happen to me, I wanted Dakota to know that she meant something to me and that I never wanted to leave her. 2. Again, if I were to not make it back, she needed to know how to survive and not count on other people.

            And with those three days I got the sense of security. She could do this. The idea got me thinking that maybe she’s been stronger than me this whole time. Living on her own for so long, watching her foster brother die, never knowing her real family, and now this…I was leaving her and I didn’t really know if I’d come back. Still, she seemed completely whole. She was able to help me up when she had been through so much as well.

            It upset me to know that she never entrusted me with the knowledge of her past. Did she not trust me or did she think I was so weak that I couldn’t handle her past? Maybe she just wanted to forget…

~~~~~

The night comes faster than I would like it to and I know I will be feeling the lack of sleep later when I need to be alert of my surroundings.

            I slide from my bed quietly and tiptoe through the room so not to wake Dakota, who fell asleep hours ago. Beck’s been watching me from the corner this whole time and gets to his feet when I do. He looks sadly at Dakota.

            “Do you want to stay, Beck? To protect her?” As much as I want to take him, I know I’d be wrong. I’ve seen the two of them together. They keep each other sane, like he did for me all those days I would’ve lived on my own.

            The more I consider the idea, the more I feel the rightness in it. Dragging him along with me would be the same as if I dragged Dakota along with me. I couldn’t be responsible for their lives.

            “You know what…you have to stay. She’ll need you when she puts two and two together and finds out I’m not just going into town to get her a bow… Maybe she’ll forgive me if you’re here to persuade her…” Even as I say the words I feel pathetic. Of course I am living off of a false notion by saying the dog’s presence will smooth things over is ludicrous but it’s helping me leave with a clear conscience. Wasn’t learning to be a little selfish the point of this adventure I was taking? This was the first step.

            He looked at me despondently but meandered over to her bedside regardless. “Thank you, Beck…for everything…if I don’t come back,” I closed my eyes. Was I really saying goodbye? “Take care of her.”

            He whined with finality and I knew it was time for me to go. This was it.

I made my through the dark cabin like I’d done so many nights ago. I stopped only to retrieve my bow and fill my small pack with enough food to last me to the next scavenging hotspot. I walked to the door of the cabin and took a deep breath, reaching my hand towards the knob. But something stopped me.

            It was hardly a glint in my peripheral vision but I knew it was there. I stopped and my hand dropped to my side. I didn’t even have to look to know I had a companion. Better yet, I already knew who it was.

            “Daryl.” I said. My voice came out tight and emotional from my unspoken goodbyes to Dakota and to Aaron, who I had grown to accept because I knew he’d help protect Dakota, and then there were my thanks. My thanks to Ruth, for letting me stay here, and to Daryl…for everything.

            “So you weren’t just making it up…” he spoke, something vulnerable in his voice. “You’re really leaving.”

            I nod slightly. “I am… There are some things I need to do…to move on with my life.”