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19

WARNING: SOME TRIGGERING SCENES IN THIS CHAPTER.

I sat with my back against the cool tiles, a silver blade in my hands , threatening my forearm. I held it up against my arm, swiping it horizontally, the feeling of relief running through my body. All the feelings of anger seeped out of body in the form blood, running down my arm, hitting the light tiles.

I cursed myself for what happened next.

The bathroom door had been left unlocked while I was in here, and in walked Jenna.

"Aria," she gasped, shocked that someone was in here. But when she saw what was happening, a look of terror washed over her face.

She froze in place for a moment. "TYLER!"

It was the loudest I had ever heard Jenna be. Her voice sounded panicked, and naturally, Tyler came running.

"No — No," Tyler stopped in his tracks for just a second. "Aria!" His tone was angry, but not like he was angry at me. I still couldn't help but flinch.

My arm was essentially covered in blood, and my hands — both of them — were cut all over, both back and front. Tyler grabbed the blade from me and pushed it away, opening his arms to pick me up, presumably taking me to the sink to clean the cuts. 

"We've been here for hours Ri," Tyler started. "You should've gotten us."

"I'm sorry." I said quietly.

And that's when I broke out into a sob; one that I had been fighting back.

Tyler rubbed my back in circles to attempt to calm me down. It wasn't working, and by the time we got to the second bathroom, we didn't even make it to the sink.

"Aria," Tyler stopped. "I've never heard you cry like this."

He was obviously shocked.

I wasn't a person to cry often — in fact, I cry happy tears more often then actual, genuine tears. 

So this was definitely different.

Bringing me over to the sink, Tyler turned the tap on, gently taking my arm first and rinsing it underwater.

"Jenna — in my suitcase — there's a bottle of antiseptic stuff — I need it please." Tyler looked to Jenna, who still seemed to be shocked.

"I'm sorry Tyler," I said, clutching his jumper with all my strength. "I'm sorry."

"Ri, it's alright."

Jenna returned with the bottle of antiseptic, and Tyler poured it onto my arm. It stung more and more, but then numbed itself.

Tyler worked quickly. He kept washing my arm, until I fell over, losing my balance. I felt dizzy — lightheaded. I had no more strength left.

Tyler cursed quietly under his breath.

"We have to go," Tyler stated. "Jenna, can you drive?"

"What? Where?" Jenna asked.

"We have to go to the hospital Jenna," Tyler picked me up once again, rushing out of the room with Jenna in tow.

I began to panic. I hated hospitals, they bought back bad memories.

"They're deep Jenna."

I looked down at my arm — I won't even begin to explain what I saw. I now understood why Tyler felt he needed to take me to the hospital.

"I'm sorry," I kept saying. That's all I could say.

"Ri, I promise it's alright. You're going to be okay." Tyler reassured. I think he was trying to tell himself that more than telling me.

We walked out the front door, locking it, and Tyler walked to the back seat of the car, placing me in first and sitting beside me. He pulled the seatbelt strap across my body as the car started.

My arm refused to stop bleeding, and I felt more and more disconnected as each minute went by. I zoned out for a few minutes only to find that Tyler had ripped his shirt to use it as a bandage.

"Ri, you need to stay awake okay?"

I didn't even have the strength to nod my head.

"Ri," Tyler's eyes widened. "Aria, stay awake."

I tried to make my eyes open more so that I could stay awake, but it didn't seem to be working as well as I had hoped.

"Jenna how far are we?!" Tyler asked in a panic.

"It's at the end of this street!"

And that's when I zoned out once again, until I had been scooped into Jenna's arms, who was running into the emergency room behind Tyler.

Thankfully there was only two people in line, and when they saw me being cradled by a distraught Jenna, they let us go before them.

"Uh hi, there's been a self harm incident," I could see Tyler's hands trembling as he spoke.

"In what severity?"

"What do you mean?! She's — It's very severe!" Tyler shot back.

"Sir, I'm doing to need you to stay calm."

"Stay —"

"Tyler." Jenna's shaky voice stopped him from speaking. "Take Aria, I'll talk."

It felt like hours later but I was aware of it only being a minute later at most, Jenna came over.

"They can't do anything unless she has a legal guardian with her," Jenna said angrily.

"Ask if they can talk to Josh over the phone. We can't leave her for much longer Jenna."

She nodded and went back to the receptionist lady.

It was at this point that I began to look around and take in my surroundings.

I wish I hadn't.

I began to cry again, memories of my late baby brother and my biological parents in the hospital years ago, when I was only little.

"Ri?" Tyler asked softly. He obviously hadn't fully calmed down, and I'm pretty sure he was about to cry, but he made himself sound strong.

"I'm sorry Tyler," I felt the tears brimming over. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise."

Moments later, Jenna came back. "They accepted the phone call," she said, slightly happier. "Josh, she's here with Tyler if you want to say anything."

"Ari," Josh said softly.

I couldn't say anything. The only words that seemed to be able to come out of my mouth were "I'm sorry."

"Ari, no, you don't need to be sorry. Everything's going to be okay — I'm on my way, I won't be long. You'll be okay, I promise." Josh said, his voice crackling through the phone. "I love you."

And that's when Tyler stood up again, and I was placed on a hospital bed, and I then realised how scared I really was.

"Tyler," I called out to him.

"Ri, it'll be okay." He said softly.

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to block everything out, until I had fallen asleep.