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21

"Ari," Josh whispered quietly, shaking me awake. "Ari, wake up."

I opened my eyes and looked around to see where I was. I was in Josh's bed, the blankets over my body.

"You need to take your medication — Jenna made you a bowl of pasta."

I nodded and sat up clutching my head.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked. 

"My head. It hurts. I'm alright though." I shrugged it off.

Josh nodded and handed me the bowl and placed two pills on the beside table. "Eat," he said sternly.

I nodded, shoving a spoonful of pasta into my mouth. "Currently eating."

Josh rolled his eyes and sat on the end of the bed. "Aria, I need to ask you something."

"Mm?"

"Where did you find that blade you used?" Josh asked.

I froze. I stared at my food, shaking my head.

"Aria, I need to know."

"Why? So you can hide everything from me?"

"So I can protect you."

"Josh, I really don't —"

"Aria, you know I care about you right? I don't want you to hurt yourself. I don't want you to be able to hurt yourself."

"That's not how it works Josh."

"What?"

"That's not how it works! You don't get to choose!"

"Yes I do Aria!"

"No you don't! It's my choice! What I do to myself doesn't matter! I don't matter! I'm unimportant! You and Tyler matter! You've made an impact in this world! I'm that insignificant that I'll probably be dead before I even can drive!"

"Aria!"

"Save it Josh! Leave me alone!"

"Aria!"

I put the bowl on the side table and stormed off into the bathroom. I was angry — I didn't want to talk to Josh, or anyone for that matter. I just wanted to be left alone after what Josh had said. I didn't want to be pressured into saying anything.

"Aria! Get out of there now!" Josh screamed, banging on the door that was now locked. "Unlock the door!"

I have a feeling that Josh might've been worried that I was trying to do something, but at the time, all I heard was anger.

And my father's voice.

"You little brat! You get the hell out of there now!" My dad screamed, pounding on the door.

When he didn't get a reply, the noise on the other side of the door got louder as I presumed he was now using his feet. "I'll kill ya! I will! I'll do the same thing your mother did to your mutated brother! I'll kill ya!"

"No!"

"What'd you say?! Did you just say no! You know what happens when you say no!"

That's when I found the door at my feet and my head being hit against the wall. My side being kicked repeatedly. Me feeling sick to my stomach to the point where I was crying hysterically.

Once I snapped back to reality, I was breathing heavily, silently crying. I was scratching at my skin on my legs, trying desperately to calm down. I couldn't breathe, it felt like my lungs were on fire, or that they were closing up. I was shaking violently to the point where I'm sure if I tried to write my name, it'd look like scribbles.