Diabolik Lovers CRACK

And then there was one.

(hey-o I felt like updating this please don't eat me lol)

Later that day, our two heroines had established their dominance (by that I mean Maya had kicked a few people's asses and stared down everyone else while Julia looked done in the background) in the school and had claimed a "home base" so to speak. Their "Home Base"? The abandoned art room that Maya (using her author powers) had decked out. It had everything! From a digital lock the duo plus Yui knew the code to, to its own WiFi source, (appropriately named The Neko Mafia)to comfy furniture. It even had a mini fridge and all the gaming systems!

Anyway, that's where Maya, Julia, and Yui were now, each of them doing their own thing. Julia was watching a new show on Netflix, something called Thirteen Reasons Why. Yui was drawing and just being a roll of actual cinnamon. Maya was playing Pokemon: Sun and Moon like the massive nerd she was. All was peaceful and nice, but SOMEONE felt the need to fuck it up.

Can you guess who it was?

Goldilocks McDouchenozzle himself. 

Kou Mukami.

His overly fake and annoying voice could be heard clearly through the door.

"Excuse me! I was looking for two girls, one blonde and the other a brunette, are they here?"

Julia and Maya shared a look. Maya nodded to the door, indicating that she was going to answer it. Julia shrugged an gave her a "do-whatever-the-fuck-you-want-to-just-don't-infuriate-him" look. Maya walked over to the door, her footsteps soft against the door. She opened the door's window slidey thingy (idk the thing you use to see who's there), revealing her cat-like hazel eyes to the blond half-vampire on the other side of the door. Those are usually high up so she stood on a stool cause she's short and sassy.

"What the fuck do you want," she stated coldly.

".................." The blond male was silent, staring at the female in a starstruck fashion, his eyes wide and a faint blush on his face. In his opinion, she was pretty. Fireworks were going off, romantic music was playing, and rose petals were falling from the heavens, but only in his mind so not really. In Maya's point of view, he was just staring at her creepily and there was a deafening silence.

Someone else appeared to (save our edgy heroine) ruin the "moment" between the two. Someone who's character, Maya actually liked. That's right, Azuza appeared next to his brother, curious about why he was just standing in front of the door to the abandoned music room.

"Kou......what are you.....doing?" he spoke like the cinnamon roll he was.

Kou (finally) snapped out of his daze and turned to his brother before speaking.

"Remember those two girls I told you about? The one who didn't fangirl about me and her fangirl friend? I found their hideout." Kou sparkled as he spoke, which was weird and unnatural.

"You two idiots do realize I can hear you right?" Maya deadpanned.

Kou was silent for a moment before whipping his head around, sparkles still radiating from his being, and grinning a "charming" smile at Maya.

"You should let me in~ I'm sure we could have a little...fun~" he tried being sexy/seductive but ultimately failed because not only is Maya Asexual, but he also isn't edgy enough to be in their club. (Yui is an exception because she needs protection, hugs, care, and warmth fight me)

"No." At the female's words, an imaginary arrow pierced through his heart, and he fell to his knees like the dramatic hoe he is.

Maya then turned to Azuza and smiled genuinely (not the one she uses to intimidate or scare people, but an actual smile, which was super cute) at him.