Diabolik Lovers CRACK

Bibbity Bobbity Back the Fuck Up.

(A/N) Yup! I'm continuing the story! Why? Because someone (cough cough JULIA YOU LITTLE SHIT) is making me.

Maya's eyes fluttered open at the sound of groaning from the other side of the room. She sat up rubbing her forehead, the sheets of the bed she had been sleeping in falling into her lap. 

'Wait a second.......'

'WHERE THE FUCK AM I!?!?'

Panicking, Maya fell off of the, disgustingly pink, bed onto the, sickeningly pink carpeted, floor.

Cringing because whoever had come up with the color scheme of this room was a FUCKING idiot with no sense of style, Maya stood up and looked down, just now noticing the, quite revealing, dressing gown she was adorned in.

"WHAT THE FUCK AM I WEARING WHO DRESSED ME, FUCK."

Maya's distressed screaming awoke Julia who promptly joined Maya in screaming. Why? She hated pink with just as much of a passion as Maya.

Maya being Maya, decided to drape the white sheets from her bed around her, creating a smol shelter because fite me. Julia soon followed suit. 

The duo continued screaming, not very loudly though, because they knew the guys here were vampires and vampires have sensitive hearing, so it was really more like talking level screaming.

Regardless, two certain pricks heard them and decided to harass them because they're assholes.

Ayato and Laito opened the door to the room, smirking, only to see the duo were up and talk/screaming at each other from the beds on each side of the room, both wearing blanket cloaks.

Ayato approached Julia while (cough cough horny fedora) Laito tip-toed over to Maya. Julia, noticing Ayato, and despite him being her favorite she doesn't really want a relationship with THAT prick, so she pulled a leek out of her bra (no idea why she keeps leeks in her bra) and began beating the ever loving shit out of him. 

Laito, who had gotten far enough to hug Maya, did so cheerfully, prepared to do his seduction move which he does on the majority of the female population. Maya, not feeling like dealing with this shit, put her hands up and looked him in the eye, before saying, with an expressionless face, "Bibbity Bobbity Back the fuck up."

Julia laughed from the other side of the room, while continuing to beat Ayato with a leek. Maya, because she no longer wants to deal with this vampire bullshit, tied the sheet covering the skimpy ass dressing gown around her neck, like a cape, and walked toward the window. Julia, as if sensing what she would do next, also moved toward the window, but was too late seeing as Maya had already climbed onto the window sill and was standing there, opening the window.

Whirling around, she faced the two red headed vampires, holding the sheet so they can't see the skimpy dressing gown, that she oh so loathed. Grinning she jumped out the window without hesitation, screaming behind her.

"PARKOR I'M FREE MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"MAYA GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!!!"

"Nah Mate, I think I'm just gonna go sit on the roof."

"In those skimpy ass pajamas? Bitch get yo ass back in here before you run into more vampires."

"Nah, the Horny Fedora and the Oreo are behind you anyway. I'm good."

And with that, Maya left.