Diabolik Lovers CRACK

Cue Long Drawn Out Sigh.

Maya and Julia sat in an empty classroom, eating and calmly talking. See, it was lunch time and they were about (fucking) done with classes.

The day itself had been full of sarcasm (Maya), fangirliness (Julia and other fan girls), Constant Escaping from Vampires (Maya, Julia, and Yui), and protecting the cinnamon roll (Maya and Julia protecting Yui). Now, it was suspiciously quiet as the dynamic duo ate lunch in an abandoned classroom. Obviously, as all things are, it was not quiet for long.

The door slammed open, Ayato being the one who opened the door. Julia, who had whipped her head around to see who had interrupted her, but upon seeing Ayato, she blushed and quickly went back to eating. Maya took one look at the Oreo and groaned, sinking into her chair.

"Peach-Chan, Neko-Chan, make me something." He growled, obviously in a bad mood. Maya, realizing that he called her a cat, threw her book at him. "Fuck off Oreo-Sama." She growled, leaving the room and dragging Julia with her. "Why did he call me a peach." Julia wondered.

As they both walked farther away from the shitty Oreo, Maya and Julia slowly started to see more of the female students, each of them talking quietly. Maya rolled her eyes, continuing to drag Julia along with her.

After walking for a while, the duo came across a large group of females, all squealing, surrounding someone. Who was that someone? Fucking, Goldilocks. That's right, Kou Motherfucking Mukami was being his self obsessed idol self, interacting with his fan girls. Julia, being herself, took one look at Kou and tried to jump into the horde, forgetting that her best friend, had a hold of her arm.

Maya grumbled many curse words under her breath as she dragged Julia away from the horde. "Mayyyyaaaa why did you do that." Julia whined, as she was dragged further and further from the fan girl horde. "That guy just smells of fake-ness and narcissism. Besides, if I remember correctly, he's one of the vampire douchebags going to this school. Goldilocks if I remember my nickname correctly." Maya responded in a bored fashion before continuing,"Besides, we already have to deal with six of them. I personally, do not need four more."

Little did they know, Sit Goldilocks McDouchenozzle had heard everything they had said, and not detecting any lies, they had, to put it simply, caught his interest.