Going Anyway

Peace Out

Wednesday, May 31

This has been a busy month, and today was my first day that I could really just relax.

Ava had to clean out her room today, so I had time to do absolutely nothing. I hate being bored.

Tomorrow we will be on our way to Iowa. We will stay somewhere in Illinois tomorrow night.

Anyway, to end the month's blog, I'd like to write about the title of the blog, Going Anyway because I never explained the meaning behind it.

When I was a junior in high school, my mom did not want me to sign up for the National Guard. I remember snapping at her and yelling, "I'm going anyway. It's not that I want to do this, but I have to do this. I can't stay here."

I was off to basic training a few months later during the summer.

Of course, I had to come back for my senior year to graduate high school.

I swore I would never come back to this town.

Ironically, I was a teacher here for the last five years. But that's beside the point.

My mom hated me for it, but I was going anyway because I knew I had to do what was best for me, even though I wasn't ready to leave my mom as she was dying of cancer. But I knew I had to go to college.

When Jen offered me the job up in Iowa, I knew I had to take it. I knew I needed to take it for Ava. I also knew it comes with a lot of risks.

In truth, I took the job to run away from this town. I am not a proud citizen of this town. We have some nasty things going on here. I have horrible memories of this town.

I guess the reason why it's so hard to leave is because there's a lot of guilt in leaving this town in this condition. I think it's almost silly to believe one person can save a town. I thought I could save this place. And maybe it just takes time, but I can't afford that time. I have a kid to take care of. She deserves better than this town.

Changing gears now, this blog has been a lot of fun to write. I like having the task of completing a piece of writing everyday.

I would like to thank each and everyone of you who has taken the time to read this blog. I hope you don't think I'm an emotional mess after reading this, and I hope you don't think I'm too cocky. I can't believe how many people have actually taken the time to read this thing. I have enjoyed this.

I will try to continue a daily entry in the month of June.

Tomorrow's entry will be on a new story on Wattpad, so go back to my profile and find the story called Restoration. That will be the name of the new blog/story—whatever you wanna call it. I'm going to be going to that leadership program and on a mission trip to Colorado, so it won't be too boring of a month. Also, I will be doing a lot of remodeling.

Until next month, which is tomorrow, peace out.

- Steven