Going Anyway

We Are Not Poor

Tuesday, May 2

Ava and I had an interesting conversation today.

"Izzy and Sophia both gave out May Day baskets after school yesterday," Ava told me at dinner tonight. "And, they talked all about how we didn't—I don't think they were mad, but still..."

"We really didn't have time to put any baskets together yesterday."

"We could've done something Sunday night."

"Come on, Ava, you have given May Day baskets out every other year. Do you know how many I gave out when I was a kid?"

"None, but that's because you didn't have any friends." Her tone was sharp.

I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms. "That's not relevant to this conversation."

"It's true though. People probably thought we were just being poor again."

"How many times do I have to tell you we are not poor?"

"If we're not poor why can't I have an iPhone?"

"Because not everything in life is about the things you own."

"Maybe it is to me." The look of mischief in her eyes was almost amusing.

"Then why did you give TJ that toy?" I was testing her.

"Because...I'm nice."

"You could've taken the thing you wanted, right?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because Patrick made TJ lose."

"So, what was important in that moment?"

Her focus suddenly went to eating her chicken.

"What does this have to do with an iPhone?" she finally asked.

"Well, there are more important things then having everything you want, so..."

"But why can't you be a good uncle by getting me an iPhone 7 Plus?"

"Do you think that is the only thing in this world that is going make you happy?"

It took her a moment to answer, but finally she shook her head. "No."

"Okay, good, because iPhones don't last forever. The reason why I don't want to get you a brand new phone is because they're so expensive, and they only last two or three years."

"You got a brand new one after only having your phone for, like, a year and a half."

"Exactly. It ran out of memory, so it was a pain to use."

"But I hate my dumb phone so much and my iPad is so slow."

I sneezed about three times because I'm still really sick. When I was done, I groaned, and wiped the snot from my nose. "Oh, that's gross," I said, looking at my now snotty hand. She wasn't going to change the subject though. I got up and walked over to the sink. I have to set good examples and be clean. (If I was alone, would've just moved on with my snotty hand.) I dried my hands and ran a hand through my hair. "Ya know, I bet we could reset my old phone." I sat back down.

"But I want a pink 7 Plus."

"Well, if I just gave you everything as a kid, then when you get into the real world, you'd realize that it doesn't work like that. You already have everything you need."

"I don't have a mom."

I took in a deep breath, gazing at my empty plate. "I know, but you have an uncle who loves you. I love you enough to not give you everything." I folded my arms again. "Look, I'm offering you a decent iPhone. You just can't put every app on it. You can get a case for it. You'll probably like the color of the case better anyway."

She thought about my offer and glared. "Fiiiiine."

"With that attitude, I may rethink my offer. I mean, a lot of kids don't even get phones."

She rolled her eyes. "I know. I know."

"Okay, so we're probably going to switch phone services anyway when we get to Iowa, and then we'll see if they'll let us use my old phone, okay?"

"Okay." She finished her last bite of chicken. "I guess that's better than nothing." She brought her plate to the sink to wash her plate. Her eyes met mine. "You're better than any mom, by the way."

I gave her a relieved smile. "Thank you."