The Deep End

Joy.

9:00 AM.

march 11, 2002.

My eyelids burst open as a painful scream echoes its way through my bedroom, sending shivers down my spine. 

Almost immediately I pounce out of my bed with my heart pumping fear & adrenaline into my bloodstream.

 My eyes quickly scan its surroundings I carefully walk out my room, gulping down a handful of saliva to soothe my dry throat. 

my soul suddenly leaves my body, it was as if I saw a demon of some sort when actually it was my mother.

 One hand on her belly and one stabilizing her body weight.

 I stare at her in utter confusion.  

Pupils as wide as outer space with gleaming stars twinkling & dancing around. 

My lips parting ways in utter shock.

what the hell do I do?.

"The ambulance are on their way, I just need you to help me sit down & drink a glass of water" she calmly says tears brimming her eyes, Waiting for their queue to flood.

"oh. um.. okay" I say with my hands shivering as I sprint to get a glass of water

I walk back with weak bony legs tweaking like twigs, she had already sat herself down. 

I hand her the glass of water. 

Shivering of course. 

She grabs my small palm and comforts me, my heart settles down, still afraid but somehow reassured. 

I sit in her arms even though It hurted her even more, until the ambulance arrived at our doorstep and we were on our way to the hospital.

4:00 AM.

may 12, 2002.

It just won't shut up. 

Was I this annoying?

I needed sleep, but apparently that was banned since the day she arrived.

 It was like a curse, she was very cute though, she did look more like me than my parents. 

rosy chubby cheeks, long eyelashes, dark brown eyes that gleamed with happiness, hope & joy. She has everyone wrapped around her little chubby finger including me. 

They called her Yara, but lets be real my name was prettier. 

I was prettier, I had all the attention and in just a day its been given to Yara.

she might be me, if she's this cunning.

11:00 AM.

march 11, 2003.

Well, I guess its time for her first satanic ritual, & she had the same face expression glued to her face. 

It was hilarious though.

By the time they were preforming her satanic ritual, I sneaked by bicycle that yes,Still had training wheels on them. 

Don't judge me I'm trying, out to the hallway of our apartment.

 Determined to actually cycle without the training wheels, I yank them out with full force breaking them off. thus making them literally impossible to be screwed back on.

Mission one,accomplished.

I Climb up my frail body to the seat, place my hands on the handle bars.

 I let out a deep exhale, muting every sound, scent & feeling around me.

I target my eyes to the end of the hall, fierce looking & determined to get over this phase of my life.

 I gulp down my fear, and pedal. 

After a good amount of distance of perfected cycling I start shifting right to left,loosing balance & peddling faster. 

Before I knew it I was a few inches away from the other side of the hallway wall.

I slam face first into a ceramic wall, amazing luck. 

I get up god knows how many minutes or hours later with my mom circling me.

 I stare with confusion thinking it must've been a dream, But do dreams leave you with a bruised face and a headache? I really don't think so.

"w-what happened?" I mutter out, still confused & in pain.

" I think we should be asking you that" my mom replies with her eyes swimming in fear, and guilt..?

I stare blankly for a few minutes infant of me, swimming in the sea of confusion mixed with pain.

"Lina?" my mom touches my shoulder, as if calling me back to earth.

"huh?" I reply back,forgetting about everything earlier. 

Why do I feel like this?

"are you okay? Do you remember what happened?" she snaps back, worried as ever.

 I could feel her heart beating through her rib-cage as if it was some caged animal that needed to be set free.

"I'm okay, I remember my bicycle" I say resting my chin in between my index and thumb finger.

"how did you find me?" I quickly add, changing my position and resting my head back onto my pillow, staring at the ceiling.

"Considering we heard a loud bang, you no where on being found and the front door was blasted open. I wouldn't think it was that hard" She laughs brushing her fingers through my hair.

"Am I going to be fine?" I ask back afraid something bad has happened.

"As long as you're breathing, You'll be fine" she says back with a side grin peeking on her left cheek, her dimple sinking into her face.

"Get some rest, its been a long day" she adds, and she didn't need to tell me twice.

I plunge into a deep sleep, not hearing anything or anyone around me. 

Completely muting the world & having inner peace with myself.