Breaking ★ Ksimon

Anxious

Words:(1871)

JJ

We weren't in the car for ten minutes before I hear Simon's light snores and heavy breathing from the passenger seat. I take a couple of seconds to take my eyes off the, almost empty highway, to take in his appearance. His hair is disheveled, along with my sweatshirt that he has wrapped around his arms as his head rests against his shoulder. You can tell he is exhausted as I pan my eyes to the bags under his eyes and the acne forming around his mouth. He went to the dermatologist a while ago and they told him that his acne problem was due to stress - so I always had a way to know if he was on edge. None of these things made me think of him any less; if anything, they made me like him more. He stirs as his mouth opens slightly and his eyelashes stir. He looks peaceful, natural - it's cute. I finally bring my eyes back to the road after I realize I am in the wrong lane. 'Shit', I mumble as I merge lanes and continue the hour long journey to our long awaited home.

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Simon

"Si, babe, wake up.."

I let out a whine of disapproval as JJ proceeds to lead me out of the car. I lean my head on his shoulder in weariness as we make our way to the front door. No other cars are here since we got left a bit early, which I thank as we walk through the damp yard. My stomach does a flip of nervousness as JJ starts to unlock the door with his extra key. JJ is here to protect me, but he won't always be there. I still have to record videos with the boys and take the time to edit. Not to mention that JJ has physical training every day. He isn't happy with his physical state, so he decided to hire a trainer. Apparently his trainer will come around almost every day to work with him. I won't see JJ all day but I will see him every night, which is better than nothing.

All of my stress is taken away as JJ rubs my upper arm and pulls me closer to his embrace. As we walk through the door, JJ says, "I have to take a piss, go take a nap." He kisses the top of my head as he proceeds to make his way into the main restroom. I mumble an 'alright' as I make my way up the spiral staircase, taking a minute to examine the room around me. Nothing seems different, almost as if I never left. I feel anxious seeing the place I have grown to fear. I shake off the uneasy feeling and make my way to my room, opposite of JJ's. I grab the cold handle and slowly push open the door, peeking through before entering. I let out a gasp and throw the door open, ignoring the noise it makes as it hits my wall.

I am met with chaos. Paper thrown everywhere, broken glass, holes in walls, and shattered monitors. I feel tears well up in my eyes as I take a couple steps into the room and examine my destroyed desk. Not only was its leg broken, but the word "worthless" was carved, not written, into the desk's wooden material. I hear quick footsteps coming up the stairs, and I quickly look up, fear building up in my chest.

I relax slightly when JJ crashes into my room and locks eyes with mine. "Si, what was that sou-" his voice turns into a gasp as he looks and notices the mess that was once my room. "Holy shit..." he whispers as he examines the holes made into my patterned walls. I don't say anything but look around in shock, I don't know what to say... It just feels like a piece of be has broke off, seeing my setup and plaques I worked so hard for thrown on the ground, broken to pieces.

Jide notices my silent state, and slowly makes his way over to me. He grabs my hand and rubs his fingers against my knuckles as I keep my head to the ground and let a silent tear run down my face. He grabs the small of my back and leads me out of the room, making sure to shut the door in the process. He pulls me into his room and sits me on the bed while he takes a seat next to me. He wipes his face over his hands and lets out a sigh, most likely due to stress. I take the opportunity to pull my legs up to my chest, scoot up to Jide until our thighs are touching, and wrap my arm around his. He lets out a breathy laugh, and rubs my back until my drowsiness returns.