Breaking ★ Ksimon

Uneasy

Words:(1839)

Simon

"Do you really have to go?" I whine, spinning around in JJ's gaming chair, giving him the best pout I could muster. He lets out a laugh as he ties his bandanna loosely around his lead, holding up all the loose ends of his knotted hair. "Yes, I do. I'll seriously be a couple feet away from you. Besides, you have editing to do," he explains before planting a kiss onto my puckered lips. I still want Jide to stay with me all day, but I know he really wants to get in better shape, I don't want to interfere with his - what he calls - transformation. Besides, he is right; I have a shitload of editing to do. Ever since the charity match, I haven't posted as much as I usually do. Jide being here would only be a distraction..

"Fine," I grumble, "but I will see you in a few hours, right?" I ask, hoping to see him by at least midnight. He wraps his arms around me from behind the gaming chair and settles his chin on top of my head. "Probably earlier if I work hard," he says, rubbing his hands up and down my shoulders. Being satisfied with that answer, I give him a quick peck on the lips before shooing him away to go greet his trainer.

I lean back and ponder the state of me and JJ. He said we can be whatever I want us to be, but what do I want? Fuck, like that isn't obvious, but how do I approach it? I rub my hands over my face and let out a groan. Ask him out on a date? Too basic. Ride his dick? Too soon.

I decide to ignore the questions running through my head and hope they answer themselves as time goes on. I quietly put on Jide's oversized headphones and plug in my hard drive, beginning the process of editing my prerecorded q&a. I find myself laughing at my own stupidity as I mess with new editing techniques. I break down laughing as I zoom in on my face repeatedly until the entire screen flips upside down. It makes me realize how unhappy I have been with my videos recently. I want to try new things, a fresh start. "This is a start, I guess," I mumble as I keep in the part of me playing my, now destroyed, didgeridoo. Out of everything broken in my room,

I better get a new fucking didgeridoo.

I feel a sense of understanding when I realize that this must've been how JJ felt when he left the house. He wasn't happy with what he was doing... he wanted a change. It's a shitty feeling to not be happy with your own content, I understand now why he needed a break. It's only been three hours into editing, but I already want to feel JJ's arms around me. Feel a sense of security, knowing that he is still here. I can't do that to him though; he is changing for his own good, and it's not my job to interrupt that.

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Simon

After about four hours of editing, I hear a low grumble sound from my stomach. I take note that I haven't ate anything but Pringles all morning, and stand from the flattened gaming chair. I stretch out my arms, hearing the satisfying sound of my spine crack, before making my way out of JJ's room and down the spiral staircase. The whole house was filled with an eerie silence. There was the occasional sound of a medicine ball hitting the wall outside; but besides that, the house was still. Once downstairs, I find myself searching the fridge until I find some left over pizza and a pair of frubes. I see my findings as a success, and run up to the oven to heat up my frozen lunch. While waiting, I begin to sip on my frube and look for a drink. I take a bottle of water from our rack and pour it into my used glass. I was about to turn around from the counter before a familiar voice asks,

"Can you hand me that?"

I spin around in fear to see Josh standing directly behind me, pointing to the Keurig coffee pods we stored on the counter. I quickly hand him the pod, fearing that he will get mad if I am not quick enough. He gives me a nod, along with a "thanks Simon," before making his way over to the Keurig. The entire kitchen is filled with an awkward silence as me and Josh face opposite directions, both enduring different tasks. My mind quickly remembers that Josh doesn't drink coffee, and a pang of uneasiness builds up in my chest.