Breaking ★ Ksimon

Cold

Words: (1125)

I should've known he wouldn't understand. I should've told him sooner. I can feel my mind spiraling out of control with doubt but it's too late...

I need to reassess my situation..

I take a long look at my passport, then glance upstairs. He will be heartbroken; although, I will be miserable if i stay.. I don't have time to rethink this.

"I'm so sorry Simon.."

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Simon

It must've been six in the morning when I stir awake, which is unusual because I never wake up this early. My room is pitch black so I take the opportunity to get a few more hours of sleep. The only thing I remember from last night is JJ's announcement, then it is all a blur. I lay still with my eyes shut until I feel my bed slowly sink next to me. I know whoever it is is watching me, and I cannot comprehend why or who it is. Before I can confront the mystery person, I feel a gentle hand run their fingers through my messy locks- Man, now I wish I washed my hair last night. They probably think I'm a mess..

I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy their touch, so I keep my eyes shut and act as if I am still in deep sleep. The unknown hand find its way under my thick sheets and across my stomach. I calm down slightly when I feel their chest press against my back and their voice let out a sigh of content.

"JJ.." I think as he holds me tight against his built chest. JJ always chooses this position. He says it never fails to calm me down the when I am stressed- I guess he was right because I felt all of my muscles loosen at once. Everything from a few hours ago turned into a distant memory.

JJ laid with me for half an hour absent mindlessly moving his hands up and down my hips and up my shirt. To say he made me feel better was an understatement. I guess JJ's situation wasn't my fault after all... Maybe he just had a bit of a breakdown? He wouldn't be here right now if I was the reason, right? I kept telling myself that everything would work itself out in the morning while JJ continued to innocently run his hand up my shirt. I sunk further into his touch as I leaned my head against his broad shoulder. JJ knew I loved contact, and took full advantage of it. I slowly felt my eyes growing heavier with sleep and my breathing becoming more steady. Before I fall asleep, I feel a gentle kiss on the top of my head and a quiet voice whisper "I love you..."

I should've said it back when I had the chance..

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Simon

I woke up alone- no JJ, no message, nobody. Experienced with JJ's antics before, I assume he went back to his room or left to take a shower. I sit up in my bed and take in my surroundings. There is still a crease in the sheets where JJ attempted to lay with me - At least I know it wasn't my imagination now... I feel a smile break out onto my face thinking of last night..

Before I can think anymore, I realize how hungry I am. Deciding to have breakfast, I make my way into the kitchen for some much needed energy. When I walk through the doorway, Josh is against our marble counter preparing a cup of coffee.

"Sleep well?" he asks me apprehensively, almost as if he was too afraid to ask me.

"Fine, you?" I reply back with a puzzled tone. I know Josh must think I flipped out last night, I just hope he doesn't take that night too seriously. It was a spur of the moment, I feel better now..

"Great. Hey, have you seen JJ anytime? His car isn't in the garage..." Josh says, curiosity laced throughout his voice.

"I saw him later this morning, but that's while I was trying to sleep. Maybe he just ran off to pick something up.." I say, but deep inside we both know JJ doesn't do things like this. JJ doesn't leave early unless he is recording a video at his other flat or visiting his parents. Something is off with the whole situation. The last thing I want is my world to crash around me once again.

"Check Twitter."

Me and Josh's heads snap up to see Vik sitting at the island and looking at both of us with remorseful eyes. That was all I needed to hear before I ran upstairs two steps at a time and slammed myself onto my computer chair. I open my Twitter and hastily put in the search bar K-S-I.

"Please dont't be bad. Please don't be bad. Please don't be bad. Ple-" I begged out loud as I pressed on JJ's , now black, icon.

No tweets, no favorites, no media. The only thing remaining of JJ was his bio.

"Transforming"

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JJ

I unpacked my bags as I looked out towards the never-ending landscape. An endless trail of field and jungle.

It's going to be hard, but I will do it. I just need time. Time to learn. Time to transform.

I sigh with annoyance and leave my cluttered backpack by the front of my tent door. I need some much needed and deserved sleep. I take a couple steps forward and fall down onto my new bed for the next month: a single comforter on the ground and a pillow.

Needless to say,

The night will be colder without him.

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Simon

I sit at my gaming chair and search for any sign of where JJ could have gone.

He won't answer my texts or my calls.

He won't check my DMs.

I'm scared- He wouldn't just leave us like this. His passport is gone and his Lambo was found at Heathrow airport. The airport cannot give us any information about where he has gone, which is completely understandable. They wouldn't throw around someones privacy like that, especially someone as known as Jide.

All we can do now is wait. I want to trust JJ in what he is doing, but it's hard. It's so fucking hard.

But there is one thing that refuses to leave my mind..

"I love you."

Why there, why then, why me?

He has only been gone for one day but I am already miserable without him..

I miss his laugh, his voice, his touch....

Needless to say,

Mornings will be colder without him...

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Helloooooo I'm pretty hype about this repitition and shiiii

Rad. - Oli