Breaking ★ Ksimon

Feelings

Words: (1552)

Simon

After a lengthy phone call to JJ, Harry leads me out of his hotel room and into an Uber. I stay silent for most of the ride, only responding to questions being shot out by our driver. We talk about the football match for a while before we arrive at the rail once again. Harry grabs his bag as I grab my suit case and we make our way to our designated train. We luckily have a two seater booth this time meaning we can both have some room for ourselves. We both decide to take a while to relax, the only noise being the conductor speaking over our intercom.

Harry's phone begins to vibrate across from me as he pulls it out of his joggers. His eyes widen for a moment before picking up the phone and letting out a monotone 'hello'. I hear yelling on the other end and flinch as I think about what is being said to Harry. He rolls his eyes and responds with, "Listen, do you trust me?" There is a moment of silence before he begins to speak again, "Then we'll talk about it when you get back to the flat. I'm on a train back to London right now.." He glares at me, almost making sure I was still there, before looking back out to the blurred forest we were currently passing.

"Alright, yeah man, see ya." He says before hanging up the contact labeled 'Cal' and letting out a long sigh. I just lean my head against my seat, hoping to get some sleep tonight. My hands keep finding their way to my thighs, making sure to keep myself covered as the ride continues. I open up my eyes for a moment to notice Harry playing with his phone in his hands, his face covered with grief.

"Are you alright Harry?" I whisper, sinking further into my seat. He gives me a look of surprise, before looking down at his phone and asking, "Are you and JJ.. you know.. a thing?" I almost didn't hear the last part as he fiddles with his fingers under the seat. I contemplate answering him for a moment, but realize how much trust it took for Harry to help me back at the hotel, he deserves to know the truth.

"Yeah.. we are," I say, bracing myself for rejection. He only smiles and keeps his head hung low. I furrow my eyebrows, and watch as he opens his mouth to speak, but quickly shuts it.

"How... did you know you liked him?" He asks, barely audible. This question definitely caught me off guard as I feel myself tense. How did I know? Harry watches me, anticipation in his eyes, as I try my best to find the words to say.

"I don't know to be honest... I guess I found out I liked him more than a friend when he left. The past few months were complete hell without him, even without Josh's help. When anything went wrong, I thought of him.. He saw more from me than just a kid to babysit, unlike Josh. He has a lot in him that nobody sees, but he's doing a good job learning how to express those traits..." I feel myself smile at the thought of JJ, knowing that the past few months were something I would never forget. I look over to Harry and see a single tear run down his face.

"Harry.." I whisper, concern knitted into my voice, "what's wrong?"

He sniffles under his breath before letting out, "I think I like Cal.." before breaking out into sobs. I always knew Harry and Cal were close, but I never though he would see him like that. It would make sense though, they always had some close moments when they were drunk together. I remember one time I had to literally drag them off of each other. I walk over to Harry's side of the booth, and squeeze my thin frame into his seat before giving him a tight hug. He accepts it and lets out a few shaky sobs into my shoulder. It's about time someone besides me gets a shoulder to cry into..

"That's not too bad innit? Freezy has admitted he's bi, why don't you just tell him.." I whisper, rubbing circles into his back. He lays his head on my shoulder, most likely exhausted before saying, "He doesn't want me.. He has so many friends that are beautiful girls that always have time to go out and party with him.. He wouldn't want to be with someone who is always leaving to take care of his family.." I smile at the mention of his family, knowing how much he loves and cares for them outside of YouTube.