Breaking ★ Ksimon

Wasted

Words: (2319)

*during the match*

Simon

The whole game was pretty anticlimactic, yet tension was still stiff as the last couple minutes of the match ticked away. It was only a couple minutes after Chris scored the second goal for the opposing team when we heard the whistle signaling the end of the second half. It was all a blur as the kids started to rush the pitch and invade the players' privacy. I just watched it all happen as Tobi carried a kid off, Harry ran off the pitch in fear, and Josh pushed one of the boys to the ground. It wasn't until I felt an officer place his hand on the small of my back and walk me out of the stadium that I came to my senses. In the locker room, I was met by Harry and Vik, while JJ sat off in the corner. We spent the time we had congratulating Vik for his amazing cross and praising Harry for his defense. I can admit that I did not do the best this match, but I am not going to dread it. Everyone had a great time and there is always next year... hopefully.

We chatted for another five minutes before Vik asked me, "When do you think you will come back to the Sidemen house?" I did not know how to respond to that question. In the past few weeks, my fear for Josh only grew stronger. Bruises still stain my body from the last time I encountered him in his angry state. I only give him a look of sadness, and shrug, keeping my eyes to the floor. Vik stands up on his toes to give me a hug and whispers, "It's okay, you don't have to.." I only nod and hug him back.

We let go as other players start to bombard the locker room with an uproar of cheering and singing. I look around the room to see, almost everyone, with a smile plastered to their face. I feel eyes digging into me as I see Josh glaring at me as he unties his boots. Not only is Josh watching me, but I turn around to see JJ giving me a look of confusion and worry as he unties his bandanna. I give him a sad nod as I grab the, now faded trophy, and make my way to the YTAS changing room. I needed a reason to leave that room anyways, I felt like I was getting eaten alive in there.

As soon as I entered the room, an uproar of hoops and hollers were thrown around in every direction. I smile and congratulate Cal as I hand them the trophy. The boys continue to yell as they jump up and down and pop open a bottle of champagne, soaking everyone in the premises. I continue to laugh uncontrollably as Cal slips, once again, on his own mess and topples his own team to the ground. I feel so free in this room, everyone is full of happiness and smiles. It is sad to think of the tension I will have to encounter when I enter the room of my own team. It shouldn't be that way, but sadly, it is. I shrug it off and enjoy the mess that is YTAS for the time being.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Simon

Soon enough we all find ourselves changed and ready for the after party. As soon as we arrive to the club, we get a text from a couple of the guys saying that their Uber broke down, and they would be a bit late. Shrugging it off, we continue the night without them as we make our way through sweaty bodies and sit at the bar. I turn my head and see Josh talking to the other boys from across the room. It leaves a pit in my chest to think about the man I used to live with being here. I almost feel a wave of sickness as I remember the past few months alone with him. I hear a 'clink' next to me as I spin around to see the bartender drop a shot down next to me. "Looks like you need it," he says in a monotone voice and moves on to more business.

My mind says a quick 'fuck it' before I down the shot and drop the glass onto the marble table. I feel the burning liquid travel down my throat, but it gives a warm feeling to my body as I sit cold and alone. Before I can question my actions, I quickly order another shot.

And another, and another, until I can't even remember why I am drinking in the first place.

Five shots of vodka, rum, and whiskey later; I am tripping on my own feet and slurring my words. Everyone is too interested in their own night to notice how drunk I actually am. It must've been an hour of chatting, dancing, and drinking before I feel two firm arms grab onto my waist and spin me around. I am greeted by a grinning Josh as all of the memories come flooding back to me. I weakly try to push him away in my drunken state, mumbling a 'no' as he grabs me harder and pulls me off into the direction of another room. I feel hot tears running down my face as I helplessly push him off of me. I let out a sob, as he covers my mouth and threatens me to 'shut the hell up'. I almost give up hope until I feel his grip loosen and see his body get yanked away through my blurry vision. I am sobbing as this point, as I hear muffled screaming, and see blurry punches being thrown. I tuck my head in my knees as I slide against the crummy wall, letting everything I've kept in for the whole day out. I quickly feel two big hands grab my shoulders and whisper, "Simon, are you okay? Si, c'mon talk to me, please," they ask as they lightly shake my shoulders. I try my best to respond in my drunken state but black out before I can even find out who is asking me.