California Love

Chapter 25: Breakdown

I wake up in the morning and shoot upwards on the couch, my hand flying to my mouth as I gag and try to keep the food down. I cough and get up from Peeta's arms, running towards the bathroom and throwing up into the toilet. I rest my hands on the toilet seat as I cough and more vomit rises. I groan and rest my forehead on my upper arm. I slump backwards and lie on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor.

"Kat?" I hear a voice coming from the bathroom door. I groan again and I hear light footsteps patter over to me. A cool hand brushes back the hair from my face. "Go away Prim." I groan. She doesn't need to see this. "No, I'm not leaving." She protests, and I sigh and rest my head against the floor.

"Do you want me to get Peeta?" she asks and I shake my head. "No, let him sleep. He didn't sleep much when I was in the hospital." I get up, brush my teeth and rinse my mouth out. "Thanks Prim, but I'm okay now." She nods and I walk back to the living room and gaze at Peeta's sleeping form. He looks so peaceful and perfect. How did I get so lucky? I let out a small laugh as I remember back to my first day here when he knocked my drink all over me. I had thought he was such a cocky person; turns out he's actually the complete opposite...most of the time.

I feel Prim come up behind me and rest her head on my shoulder. "He makes you happy." She murmurs and I look down at her peaceful face. Her eyes flit up to meet mine as she speaks again. "I haven't seen you this happy since Marvel happened, and we lost Mum and Dad." She says, and I can hear in her voice that she is holding back tears. My heart plummets. I was so caught up in my life with Peeta, I had completely forgotten about my parents.

"I promised them I would never forget them and I did." I choke up and Prim's face turns serious. "Oh no, Katniss, you didn't forget them. You're allowed to be happy, you know." She says, and I feel a tear slip down my face. I wipe it hastily away and breathe heavily. What have I done? I push past Prim and run for the door. "Katniss, wait!" I hear her call as she follows after me.

I fling the door open and run out into the cool, crisp morning air. The sun is still rising. I run down the driveway and turn out onto the road. "Katniss!" I hear her call and I hear more footsteps. "Katniss!" I hear Peeta call out and I turn around to see him jogging down the driveway. "Katniss, watch out!" I hear Prim shriek. I see Peeta's eyes widen with fear. I turn my head back around and see a black car speeding towards me. I dive to the side of the road and roll across the ground, scraping my hands and knees as the car zooms past me.

I see Peeta running over to me but I scramble up and start running as fast as I can. "Kat, wait!" I hear him call but I don't look back. I make a turn at the end of the road and then another straight after that so Peeta doesn't know where I've gone. I know that I will probably freak him out by doing this but right now I need to be alone.

I cough as the tears slide down my face, blurring my vision. I trip over and stumble a few times but I don't stop. I have to get away. I run up a hill and onto a cliff overlooking the ocean. I run right to the edge of the cliff, staring down at the angry water crashing up against the rocks and cliff face. The edge of the cliff is unstable but it doesn't make me turn around. I scream into the open air, my hands clawing at my hair as pain rips through my chest, burning a hole there.

Finally everything comes crashing down on me in realisation. My parents are dead and so is my baby. I lost one of my babies and I haven't even cried yet. I'm a horrible mother already. What's going to happen when this baby is born? Will they die before they even get to live? I scream and sink down onto my knees as I bow my head and cry loudly. "I'm sorry," I cry. "I didn't mean to forget about you." I weep into my hands. "I'm sorry." I whisper to my unborn baby who will never meet their twin. I cry and my hands fill with tears. "I need my mum and dad." I cry and pray silently.