A close friend of mine recently visited Universal Studios and told me all about it. This is what we think happened when the boys visited in 2015.
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Dan POV:
"Dan," Kyle laughs, "stick your hand in here."
I roll my eyes. I know that there will be a hissy noise with a puff of air when I reach in to grab the hologram of gold. "I know what's gonna happen, but if it'll calm your nerves about a fucking kids ride, I'll do it."
Kyle scowls at me. I've taken every chance I've gotten to taunt him about how terrified he is to go on the ride.
"Hey Woody!" Will yells, chuckling to himself. "I don't think you'll be allowed to get on the ride."
"Why is that?" He asks, approaching Will at the medical restrictions sign.
Will lookssmug and taps the sign. His finger falls onto the "Expectant mothers" line.
"Awww damn. I can't get on!" Woody says sarcastically.
We all laugh, aside from Woody who is still acting as if he's unable to ride.
Once we reach the actual ride, we are seated in the back. Woody goes in first, then Kyle, then me, and Will brings up the rear.
"I'm fucking terrified." Kyle mutters to me.
"Don't be. Nobody's died." I assure him
"Yet." Will says from the other side of me.
"Wow, thanks Will. I'm so reassured now that you've said that." Kyle growls at the pair of us as we strap ourselves into the ride.
"Please keep your limbs inside the veichle at all times." A voice over the loudspeaker says.
"So the mummy doesn't get you." Woody adds.
"Shut up." Kyle mutters as the ride car starts moving.
We sit in anticipation as the storyline of the ride (Mummy's curse) plays out slowly. A voice warns us to turn away and that the curse is real, which makes Kyle grab my hand. I don't let go. The car makes its way into a room, where fake mummies pop out. It's pretty cheesy, until fire starts spewing out of god knows what.
"I WAS NEVER TOLD THERE WOULD BE FIRE." Kyle exclaims, holding my hand tighter.
As the ride continues with more and more twisty turny firey mayhem, Kyle attempts to curl up in a ball. His face is buried in his hands. My hands are in the air as I enjoy the ride, which Kyle and Will will likely not want to return to.
Once the coaster has finished making Kyle hyperventilate and scream in terror, the three of us pull him off and pretty much carry him to the lobby area.
"NEVER AGAIN!" He roars, his face stained with horror.
"What would make you feel better?" I ask, seeing Woody and Will walk off to purchase the photo from the ride.
"A cat." Kyle says, realizing that's unrealistic. "Or alcohol."
"I'll go for option two." I say, looking around the gift shop for something he might like. My eyes fall onto a bunch of shot glasses, each with names written on them. I gently spin the rack, looking for a Kyle. I see a Daniel, Chris, and Will, but no Kyle.
"If you're looking for a Kyle," He starts, spinning the rack a smidge, "The K's are here."
"Perfect!" I exclaim, wishing I had decent eyesight. I glance over Katherines, Karls, and Kristiens, and eventually find a single Kyle shot glass.
"Here!" I shout, holding it up.
"Yay! Kyle says, seemingly untraumatized like magic. "I grabbed a Dan, Chris, and Will while I was at it."
"We're going to put these to good use; I promise you that." I reply, grinning.
"Let's see if Will and Woody have already paid for the photo." Kyle says.
"I can't wait to see how extensive this freakout you had in the ride was!" I cheer.
"Yay..." Kyle says, recalling the trauma of the ride that he experienced.
"They're in line right now!" I announce to Kyle, pulling him over to their place in the gift shop line.
"Why on earth are you buying shot glasses?" Will quizzes, his inner 'mom friend' crawling out of it's hibernation cave. "We have pleanty!"
"But these have our names." Kyle says, half explaining, half pleading.
Will glances at Woody, who glances backs and shrugs, approving our proposition to purchase these extreme important pieces of art that take form in shot glasses.
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"OH MY GOD DAN." Kyle screams, making half the gift shop look at us as we exit into the sunshine. "Look at your smile, you little..." He points at my clearly ecstatic facial expression in the picture, which was partially caused by the hilariousness of Kyle's misfortunate experience full of screaming and swearing.
"Youre literally clinging onto me for dear life in this photo. Don't fuck with me" I reply, wishing I had sunglasses to put on.
"Fine." Kyle says, crossing his arms while still holding out bag of shot glasses. "But I will never be tricked into riding another one of these again, you cunt!" He screams.
"Kyle, there are children present! Keep it PG or quiet!" Woody says, butting in.
"Sorry..." Kyle mutters, not meaning it one bit.
"We still have time for about two more rides. Any suggestions?" Will asks
I look at Kyle, wishing I could request him as a ride.
"There's a short line for The Hulk." Woody points out, showing Will his phone screen.
"Let's go then!" Will declares, making his way across the park. Woody follows him eagerly.
"Thanks for the shot glasses. We getting hella drunk tonight." Kyle says, winking
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Um so yeah this is crap
