I'm not sure if you all know what these are, but they're little magnets you put on your fridge that have words on them. My friend has like, eight packs of them. This was her idea, and I hope I don't let her down!
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Dan POV:
I seem to get my best ideas in the kitchen at 3:00 AM.
I'm what many of my former housemates call "the most annoying person from midnight to four." I would like to defend myself and say otherwise, but it is comepletey true. I pace, hum, and forget to plug my earbuds in when I'm working on a song with my keyboard. I usually find myself with my back up against the cabinet under the sink in the kitchen at this hour, which is conveniently placed across from the fridge. Kyle and I had bought "poetry magnets" when we had first moved in together so we could leave little notes to eachother. Kyle's most recent note is:
"You are only a little bit better then a large cup of shitty overpriced coffee."
We had bought the dirty expansion pack.
I decide to leave his wonderous note (it was grammatically incorrect) and reply to him with a:
"I love you about as much as I enjoy hugging cacti in the freezing cold."
beautiful.
"Danny? Why are you always awake at three in the morning!?!" Kyle shouts, turning the corner into the kitchen.
"Because I can't sleep." I reply. Simple as that.
"I see you replied to my note." Kyle says, reading the fridge.
"Yeah. You used the wrong than/then." I point out.
"I do it to annoy you." Kyle snickers. His eyes scan the fridge for a few words. He arranges the following:
"I am rather amazing like a kitten." He says with magnets.
"There's no commas." Kyle says blandly.
I give Kyle my most smug look I can muster and replace a single word in his sentence. I exchange the word "amazing" with a word that describes a majority of the words population.
"Horrible."
"YOU DID NOT!" Kyle gasps, slapping my hand
"I'm sorry..." I mutter. "You're-"
"WHY WOULD YOU DARE INSULT KITTENS THAT WAY?" Kyle exclaims, stammering.
That's what he's upset about?
Kyle angrily looks through the magnets and writes:
"Your mom gets rides to work by a horrible and smelly piglet named Strudel."
"Excuse me!" I say. "Don't drag my mother into this!"
"You are a completely and utterly stupid person who should get more sleep" I write, wishing I could've found the "Whom" so I could've insulted him better.
Kyle reads it and laughs.
"What's so funny?" I ask, hoping my grammar was correct.
"Were just having a roast battle with the vocabulary of a third grader." Kyle laughs.
We both look back to our sentences, which were partially destroyed due to stealing words from previous insults.
"You're are very correct." I reply, laughing as well.
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Short and stupid, I know. Should I put this under the "trash" tag?
