shattered

chapter 7

-Rose- 

"Let's play 20 questions." I said, breaking the silence. 

"well that was random" he chuckled. "I know, it's just so we can get to know each other more." I said and turned to him. "okay then, you start." he said. "uhh, I guess..what's your favorite color??" "green." he answered. "favorite actor?" "Johnny Depp." I answered. "what is the place you want to go the most? country to be more precise." "Venice, Italy." he answered. 

"where do you go when you want to think??" "my roof." I answered. "why?" he asked again. "I think it's my turn now." I smirked. "any siblings?" "just an older sister named Elizabeth who is married." he answered casually. "why your roof?" "because I can stare at the stars, sunset,sunrise and clouds for as long as I can." I answered

"how old are you?" "I'm 20." great so he's not that much older than me.I thought. "what is the only thing you wish for in your life every single day?" alot of things came into my mind once he asked me that question. I think about the peace in mind I want. I think about the happiness, the freedom, to sleep, not worrying  about what tomorrow has for me. to relax. to live and not only survive. but the only thing that came out of my mouth was "food" he chuckled. 

"why did you decide to talk to me yesterday??" I asked him and waited patiently for his answer. 

"honestly, I don't really know. I was just really curious. I needed to know you, it's like you pulled me to you somehow. does that make any sense??" he explained. "strangely, it does." he smiled a little."what's on your mind that always makes you seem so lost?"I was silent for a while. I cleared my throat. "I think that's enough of this for now." I said and lied down on the ground, stared at the sky above. he stared at me for a while then he too, lied down on the ground. 

And we stayed just like that, just watching the sunset silently which was actually really nice. I like that. I know I do this all the time on my roof, but it's nice to have company for once instead of just music. 

we spent the rest of the day like that. just talking and laughing and getting to know each other. 

I looked at my phone and it was 7:45. well, fuck. "Adam I really need to go." I told him, getting up. "yeah sure let's go." he said getting up too. we got into the car and began the journey back. 

we spent the whole drive singing along to Ed Sheeran's new songs. I forgot about my father and how he would react to me coming back this late. "you know you're gonna have to tell me where you live don't you?" he said, and i tell him my address. hopefully nothing will happen. 

soon we were at the front of my house. "I had fun tonight." he said smiling. "me too, really."  I smiled too. "wanna do something tomorrow? hang out?" I smiled widely." sure yeah, sounds good." "okay, night Rose." he smiled gently. "night Adam, you can call me Ro you know." i said. "okay, bye Ro, I'll text you later." 

I got out of the car and went up to the front door. I heard the tv so i know he's still awake.great.Just great. 

i opened the door slowly and got in closing the door again. "where were you??" he said in a harsh tone. "I..I was out, with a friend of mine." I whispered. "And why exactly, is that friend a boy??" "I..I.." "I was here alone all day, and you were out, whoring around with some guy." 

"But I wasn't doing anything, we just met yesterday." I tried to defend myself but as usual, I couldn't. 

He grabbed my arm so tightly that if he held it just a little bit more tight it would fall off. "listen to me carefully." he whispered through my ear and I whimper from his tight hold and shivered from his cold and hard voice. "you can kiss him, bang him, do whatever you want. But that's it, only fooling around and don't dream of anything more because honey you are not leaving this house, not before I die. so I think we'll still be living together for quite a while now. so don't go love him because you are not worth being loved. now go" and he finally let go of my hand. 

He went to the couch and I went upstairs to my room. once I was in my room I started crying, but there was no sound, no sobs, no anything. just silent, sad, desperate tears. 

I got up and entered the bathroom to check on my arm, there was a bruise forming. great. another one in my collection. yay.

I took off my dress and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked at the scars and bruises all over my body. I started crying again. I cried for who I am. I cried for who I was. I cried for who I want to be. I cried for my happiness. I cried for my trapped soul that wishes to be free. I cried for my mind that is torturing me to death. I cried for my body that has suffered one too many times. And I cried for myself. Because I can't live with this shit anymore.

I changed and got into my bed and cried myself to sleep, but I still couldn't. I wish I could just runaway. But he just said it himself...I'm never leaving this house ever...