shattered

chapter 13

-Adam-

"Dude! I figured it out!" 

I barged into our apartment looking for Xavier then I found him in the kitchen. 

I had just got back form my night with Rose which was amazingly wonderful if that makes sense. I had just dropped her back at her house and came back home. 

"Hey man, you scared me slow down a bit." Xavier said, chuckling and completely ignoring what I said.

I moved closer and repeated the same words. "Dude I figured it out" 

"And what exactly is that 'it'?" He said emphasizing  the word 'it' 

"A couple days ago you asked me if I actually want to love her and I told you I don't know then you said that I'll figure it out sometime. Well I just did." 

He walked out to the living room and I walked out after him still waiting for him to actually talk. 

We sat down on the couch and I was still looking at him waiting for something to come out of that stupid mouth of his.

"And how exactly did that happen?" and he finally said, I had actually started to think he has gone mute.

I took a deep breath and said.

"Listen, today I went to her house to see what was taking her so long but when I got there I saw her standing on the roof and I swear it was like everything stopped and I started to think, what if she fell off the roof and would get out of my life that fast, which was strange because I only met her just a week ago, you know what i'm saying?" 

"Yeah, yeah proceed." 

"Then when we were heading back she was standing out of the car window, singing to a song that was playing on the radio. Her hair was pulled out of her face by the wind, she had her head tilted up to the sky, eyes closed tightly and a huge, beautiful smile on her face and arms wide open not even balancing her self on the window. 

I-It was like she put her guard down and decided to enjoy herself, she was flying in the wind and in her mind as well. 

"And I found myself admiring her and her every move, and even when she was not moving I was still admiring her. And I've never seen such a gorgeous and flawless looking girl, yet so damaged and a legit train wreck at the same time.. 

" So in that moment I just knew that I'm gonna be helplessly in love with that girl in no time and I would be so glad to love a girl like her." 

He was blinking fast at me I started to feel awkward so I started waving my hand to geet his attention. 

"Helloooooo earth to Xavier" 

"Wow." 

"Wow what?" 

"Wow that, just..wow man that was heart-touching..I think  I'm gonna cry.." and then he fake cried. yeah he's that weird.

"Xavier, grow up." 

"My best friend is growing up an-and becoming mature now and he's falling in loovee-" 

He kept fake-crying for a while and then I smacked his head. 

"Dude, I'm serious!" 

"Fine fine sorry I just had to, I'm a proud father-" 

"no you're not."

"JUST LET ME BE,  ADAAMM" 

"whatever.." 

"No but for real now.." Finally some useful words.

"I'm really happy for you and finding your THE ONE to be, but you have to know something very important. Now, you want to love her but you still don't, I mean how could you? it's only been a week, right? you only figured that if you did love her one day you wouldn't be disappointed that it happened, but that doesn't mean it will necessarily happen. So, just a word of advice, don't convince yourself that you love her, if it's meant to happen it will, so don't convince yourself that you love her when actually you don't and it won't be fair for both you and her. 

"so take it step by step, get to know her first, be friends with her so you can build your trust in each other and then your heart will decide and you will know when you love her just wait. " 

"But can I ask you a question?" 

"sure" I said. 

"Why do you want to love her so bad? I mean it's not really something that you want, it just happens." 

I sighed. "I don't know.. it's just I've never met someone like her, she's so amusing and i still don't even know that much about her. I sometimes see myself with her but i still can't say that i love her or even like her to the point where i'm ready to ask her to be mine, we still don't know each other..do you get it? that's really complicated."

I put my head in my hands and xavier patted my shoulder.

"Take it easy buddy..that's life when you love, it's-" I cut him off with a pillow in his face.

" I regret telling you anything, I'm going to bed"

"That hurt my precious face, you know!" 

"I know that's what I was hoping for!" I said and started walking up the stairs. 

"Hey Adam wait, why was she standing on the roof in the first place?"

And that's all I need to realize just how much of an idiot I am. 

I obviously can't tell him what she told me because it's not my place  but what should I say now? 

"So? are you gonna say something or should i go sleep?" he said. 

"Yeah actually I think you need to sleep GOOD NIGHT" I said and ran to my room.