The Difference Between You And Me

Chapter 32

  Hello fellow fanfic lovers, how art thou? I know that I've been gone for awhile but I took some time off to celebrate my BIRTHDAY!!! SO, the only important thing in this chapter is really the flashback and I promise to get farther along in the next chapter, I think I'll start it with them reaching Maria. I'm planning on having some big action happening soon too. Also, I posted a drawing of my little villain, the one who only showed its fingers, on my tumblr which is secretlynuttytyrant and the place it was posted in is damn fic-art. so if anyone wants to see this cutie feel free to visit the site. As always, I hope you enjoy and comment. I read every single comment though I don't respond to all and I'm so grateful to all of you for all of your words. Have a good day and happy pride month. 

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 ~Levi~

"What did you mean by that?"

I didn't answer. Eren stumbled as he tried to keep up with my determined strides that cut through the stream of soldiers flowing down the hall. The shock was wearing off,I needed to get away. How had I even managed to stay remotely levelheaded before? Eren followed, spouting out questions he'd already asked, getting progressively louder and quickly chipping away at my already thinning patience. My fingers twitched in the way they always did before an attack and I increased my speed, practically barrelling through anyone in between him and his assigned room.

"Levi!"

I didn't stop, I couldn't. Not now. A tight grip on my arm forced me to slow but I powered on, dragging Eren with me because we couldn't stop here we couldn't stay surrounded by bodies drenched in sweat and grime and oh my fuck how dirty is the hand on my arm? The germs crawled off the hand and sank into my sleeve that ground against my skin where they contaminated and multiplied and- "Levi?"

I wheezed and ripped my arm from his grip before giving up and charging for the nearest room. Two cadets were making happy time in a corner but a bark and a growl in their direction set them scattering out the door. I shirked my coat and threw it to the side, distancing myself from the fabric while I undid my cravat and tore at the buttons of the shirt. I heard the door close softly and only spared a glance at the figure standing stock still by the entrance. Eren's face was frozen in strange concern, mouth half open and eyes wide with hands twitching by his side. My own hands twitched and I hurried through the last of the buttons and slid the shirt from my shoulders. I slid my hands into my hair where the shivering of my fingers buried itself in the strands of black but I didn't keep them there, not with the slick oils building up on my scalp. God, everything was dirty.

"What are you doing?"

I don't know.

"Levi,what's wrong?"

I don't....

I stared at him.

"What's wrong?" My voice snapped over the stones of the room and made Eren flinch. "My fucking boyfriend shows up after fuck knows how many years when I thought that he was dead and is suddenly a soldier with a life I have no part in. I have what feels like boat loads of issues that involve PTSD, OCD and a few other things like paranoia. I've spent years building a new person who would be able to function without you or anyone, such a perfect creation that I have no clue how to act anymore. I'm so lost, trying to follow a path I closed off long ago and FUCK-" I heaved in a ragged breath and deepened my scowl. "I'm not the Levi I used to be, Eren. And I am confident when I say that you're not my Eren anymore either."