T A K E A S T E P B A C K

1️⃣7️⃣D I E C I S I E T E1️⃣7️⃣

Timothy hanging out with me really distracted me from my new life in Broward. It was around ten and we agreed to watch Lilo&Stitch, Finding Nemo, The Lion King, and Pocahontas. We got started with Lilo&Stitch and I heard a knock on the door. I rolled my eyes and got up. I opened the door to see Jahseh standing there with all of this popcorn and Ski.

"Uh. What you doin here?", I asked them and they smiled at me.

"Movie night?", Ski said and I nodded and opened the door. They walked in and Timothy stood up.

"Y-You know XXXTentacion and Ski Mask The Slump God," he said talking a mile a minute. I frowned at him confused. I knew Ski was Ski Mask, but Jahseh. He can't be X. Is he?

"Yeah," Jahseh said chucking. No wonder they called him X. That stood for XXXTentacion. I'm fuckin slow. I shrugged and closed the door. I went to sit down on the couch next to Timothy, but Jahseh sat beside him forcing me to sit next to Jahseh because Ski was on the other side of the couch.

I went to go pop the popcorn and the guys just talked. I am kind of glad that I don't have any friends that are girls. Mostly because they ask you about your feelings and get you all worked up over nothing.

I sighed and watched as Lilo and Stitch found each other. An hour in, when Stitch went into the forest to wait for his real family only to find out he didn't have one, I began to cry. This movie is so sad, but they don't give you no time to cry because it makes you laugh a second after.

"Girl you cryin?", Ski asked me and I rolled my eyes and wiped them quickly. Jahseh was still watching the tv but he reached over and put his hand on my thigh. I jumped and he squeezed it, "I'm sorry. For what I did to you," Ski whispered to me and I nodded.

"You've already been forgiven. Just don't remind me of it again," I said as my breath got shaky. Jahseh just being next to me made me nervous. I moved his hand off of me and he looked at me as I continued to watch the movie.

When Ski got up to use the bathroom, I moved into his spot and fell asleep on the armrest not really caring.

Timothy

I looked around for Synthia, but I heard a faint snore when the movie went off. She was just asleep on the other side of the couch. I looked at X and hit his arm to get his attention when Ski put in the next movie.

"Synthia likes your music a lot? Did she know it was you?", I asked and he shrugged, "Okay anyway I just want to tell you that she isn't going to be here for long. She plans on going away... after college," I said and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"What are you talking about?", X asked and I sighed. 

"Synthia is going to kill herself. Not because of you or anything. It's the way they treated her back in California and she promised me that she will die when she turns 21 years old," I explained. X stared at me for a second before looking back at Synthia, "Don't tell her I told you. Don't bring it up, she doesn't like to talk about it very much," I said and he nodded.

"I'm going home," Ski said getting up. I nodded and went to open the door for him.

"The movie wasn't even over though," I said and he shrugged.

"Got hoes to fuck," Ski said before getting in his car and driving off without another word. This may be my last chance seeing Ski Mask The Slump God and I didn't even get a picture. I walked back inside to see Synthia in X's arms carrying her up the stairs. I paused for a second and he didn't even acknowledge me. I sighed and went to finished watching Nemo.

I wonder how Synthia was able to survive a whole 4 months here. Telling me about all this drama with Jahseh and Isaiah. Then I noticed that she started cutting on her wrists again. I just want to stay here and comfort her.

I heard X come back down the stairs and I didn't pay any attention to him as he began to walk it of the door. I turned off the tv and made sure the door was locked. I made my way upstairs, got in Synthia's bed making sure I was facing away from her, and went to sleep.

I woke up to Synthia shaking my arm yelling 'Wake up' in my ear. I jumped and fell off the bed making her laugh at me.

"Jahseh said that he's having some kind of concert and he wants us to come," she said and I jumped up. Excited as a mother fucker, "It's at 6 bro. You ain't gotta get ready yet. It's only 1."

I didn't even know I could sleep that late.

Synthia

I got out of bed at like 5 in the morning. I don't even know why. I just did and I took a shower and got dressed and just watched some Netflix in my room. I looked out of my window to see the sun rising and Jahseh smoking weed in his room. I guess I could try it again.

I got up and put on my Jordan's and walked over to his house. I knocked on his door. It took a while but Jahseh opened it. He instantly smiled at me and opened the door all the way lazily.

"You're high," I noted and he closed the door.

"Yeah I guess so," Jahseh shrugged and started walking to his room upstairs. I followed him taking in all of my surroundings. He opened the door to his room and it was musty. There were clothes and shoes everywhere and it stank of weed.

I went over and sat on his bed and he sat next to me handing me the blunt he was smoking. I took it and inhaled deeply. I exhaled and this large cloud of smoke appeared in front of me. I went to take another blow but Jahseh snatched the blunt out of my fingers.

"Dude," I said as he laughed at me. He leaned over to me and whispered in my ear.

"This isn't the way for you to go," Jahseh said in this raspy whisper. It sent shivers down my spine some how. This reminded me of that night. The night I tried to commit.

He had me pulled close to him in a bone crushing hug. I rubbed my nose into his elephant tattoo as I cried. I must've said sorry a thousand times by now. He just rubbed his hand up and down my back and told me that it was going to be ok.

"Why are you still here?", I asked him and he pulled me away to look at my face.

"I think I love you," he said. I gave him a small smile and he smiled back at me.

"Synthia," Jahseh said pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked over at him and he had his worried look on his face, "Timothy told me about your plans at 21," he said and I paused.

"You weren't supposed to know about that", I said and he sighed.

"I just want to know if you're okay," Jahseh said and I took a deep breath. I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry about it," I whispered and he chuckled. We just smoked until we fell back asleep.