when I go to sleep at night,
it's just me.
when I wake up
in the morning,
it's just me.
when I go through the motions of every day and every task,
it's always just
me.
a life like that is
lonely,
as you can imagine,
but I can't seem to find
anyone who wants to stick around.
I'm just
alone in my room,
laughing,
crying,
wishing it didn't have to always be
just me.
when I discover something new,
there's no one to share it with.
I already tried.
the distance is unbearable,
and
I don't want to waste my time
trying to get someone to like me
and never leave,
when I know they're going to anyway,
when I know that nothing about me is going to
convince them to stay.
there's never anyone to wipe away my tears with their thumbs,
and no one to hold me from behind as I shake in their arms,
because I've never been interesting to them,
and I suspect listening to me is talk is like
blasting car alarms.
the tears fall from my eyes,
and pool on my thighs,
and drip to the floor
as I sit criss-cross with a crack in my heart
and stare into the mirror on the back of my door,
wondering why I'm broken,
what I can do
to make them like a girl
who's so, so blue.
it's tiring,
and there's not much to see
cause I'm always alone
and I'm simply terrified
that I'll always be.
@
