Out of my Mind

| Ghost | Boys24 - Lee Hwayoung |

  I know there's a lot of mixed feelings about Lee Hwayoung after what he said. But I started this serie before the whole controversie and I promised to myself to try and make an OT49, that's why I will include him in the one shot series. If you don't like him then skip this one. As for me, I'm neutral about this whole situation, I don't know what to think so I keep myself out of it.  

-

"You do know you need to focus on the road when you're driving" she said jokingly as she poked his cheek.

All he did in return was smile at her, he was drawn to her, he couldn't keep his eyes off her. That why he needed the occasion shove to focus on the road again. 

He knew that he is playing with fire by not focusing, but still he continued with his behavior.

"Hwayoung, focus" she yelled with a chuckle.

"Fine, fine, I'll stop staring. But you need to stop being so damn beautiful" he replied as his eyes went back to the road.

She rolled her eyes, not believing her boyfriend. 

Not that she should be surprised about his behavior, she knew what she was getting into. Not that she had any regrets.

He was good for her and that was what mattered to her, because she knows that he had a rough time, and all she hoped was that he learned from his mistakes in the past and would use them to be a better person.

The drama had died down and he was now back to living his normal life with her. Something he was grateful for- that she stumbled into his life. She was the reason of how he got over everything, she was the reason that made him realize that he needed to learn from what he did wrong, that's why he had the feeling that he could never repay her.

"Are we even going the right way, I thought you needed to take a left turn here" she told him as she was observing the map.

"I don't think so, I think it the next one".

She raised her eyebrow at him as she spoke again, "no Hwayoung we are going the wrong way".

Hwayoung smiled at her, "We will be fi-".

But he was cut off.

There was a loud crash that made her ears buzz, her body felt as if it was being mixed together. But the feeling that overruled the others was pain.

She tried to look around, but her vision quickly turned to black. As if she was sucked into the darkness, there wasn't even a spark of light around. Just total blackness.

-

A half year ago, it had been half a year ago.

Half a year ago since she last stepped into a car- willingly.

Half a year ago that she was rushed into the hospital.

Half a year ago since she had lost her boyfriend in a car accident.

It was a month after the car accident she had learned what had happened that faithful day. As she and Hwayoung were driving around, they were suddenly hit by a drunk driver. The impact was so large that both the driver and Hwayoung passed away on the spot, while she was left in a critical stage.

After months of re-validation, she was finally allowed to go back home. But she couldn't bare the thoughts of going back to the apartment she once shared with Hwayoung, instead she moved back in with her parents.

They worried about her. She had quite school, her job and basically cut everyone out of her life. She spend her days crying in her room while looking at pictures of Hwayoung, remincing everything that went through together. Occasionally she went to see a therapist, but only because her parents urged her to go- but even that didn't help her.

Even today she had spend the whole day in bed, a half eaten sandwich was laying on her nightstand with an empty cup of tea. She was rolled up on her side while hugging one of her pictures, the room was dead silent which made her mind think back at the good times.

That was until she heard something fall.

Not caring about anything, she kept still. That was until she felt something cold touch her skin.

When she looked up she saw him sitting on her bed, softly caressing her cheeks with his familiar smile. Just like her, he looked sad.

"Hwayoung, are you there" she asked as she sat upright, trying to hug him. But it felt as if her arms where going through air- cold air. "What's going on? Did they put something in my tea? I'm hallucinating right?" she asked while tears were ready to roll over her cheeks.

Hwayoung smiled bitterly at her, "listen, I can't change anything that has happened in the past. That's something we should both be accepting" he told her as he put hiahand on her shoulder, as much as she wanted to feel his touch, she didn't feel it. "all I want for you now is to be happy, and that means that you have to move on".

She shook her head, "no I can't, I can't be without you" she told him as she refused to accept the truth, the truth about him being gone- that he would never come back again.

"Then don't do it for yourself, but do it for me" he begged her.

Once again she shook her head, not wanting to believe what was happening right now. This was all a hallucination, this wasn't real.

"No, this isn't real, you're dead" she said as she started to let the tears go.

She grabbed the picture that she dropped earlier and held it tightly in her arms, "you're dead and you are never coming back to me again. How can I let you go so easily".

Hwayoung sighed softly, "listen, I don't have much time left but promise me you'll be okay, promise me that you won't do anything stupid" he stopped for a second as he swallowed back his tears, "maybe we weren't meant to be in this life time, but we both know that we will never forget the other. Moving on doesn't mean you'll forget me, please" he begged her.

"I just want to feel your touch one last time".

"Never forget that you saved me, now you have to save yourself. You can't keep people out of your life, just promise me you'll move on" he says as he hugs her.

Even though she can't feel his touch, she pretends that she can.

If this is the last time she'll ever see him, then she wants to remember this moment forever.

"I promise, I promise I'll move on Hwayoung".

Hearing that she promised him, he smiles as he slowly fades away. Hoping that his last visit has helped her, even if it was just in the slightest way.

"I'll never forget you, Lee Hwayoung".