Poetry Is Therapy

Goodbye my love

It's over but I won't shed another tear for you
I've shed enough already,
Before the relationship ended,
All I ever did was cry over you cos I could tell I was slowly losing you,
And now that it's happening,
I'm hurt but it's not surprise

I just wish there was a way to stop the pain though,
I mean it's a bit too much,
I can't handle it on my own,
I need something,
A distraction maybe,
Do you think getting drunk will work?,
What about being high?,
Or maybe I should just cut, but won't that hurt?,
Wait...are you even thinking of judging me for all this?
No you can't

You're the reason I feel this way,
You've lied to me,
Rejected me,
Disrespected me,
Neglected me,
Left me without a reason,
Left me for someone else,
You've used me for your own satisfaction,
I was good enough for your ego but not good enough for you

Yes you were there when I needed you,
You supported me when I doubted myself,
You held my hand when I was weak,
And helped me hope for the light at the end of each tunnel, nomatter how long it was, but you were never inlove with me.

You loved me but you were never inlove,
That's why when things got really bad, you packed and left,
That's why when I was drowning, you gave up and left me to die,
That's why when I was weak and on my knees, you let go of my hand cos I was slowing you down,
That's why you decided to lie straight to my face each and everyday about being inlove with me,
And that's why you had so many options to choose from at the end of the day, because if you were inlove with me you would have respected me and stayed loyal and honest,
If you were inlove with me you wouldn't have even thought of her to a point where you realised you loved her, to a point where you choose to follow her and tell her how you feel, to a point where you begged her to be yours, to a point where you spent hours with her, which turned to days within a month, to a point where your​ nights were reserved just for her, because I was just not good enough, right?

And you didn't even notice how much this affected me, us for that matter,
I asked you a thousand times why you've changed but you told me you were the same person I had fallen inlove with,
But that was a lie, you had become a monster to me, always grumpy and willing to fight,
Anything I did was not good enough,
You started calling me names, started blaming me for things I didn't do, started hitting me without a valid reason and I'd cry and scream for you to stop but you never did,
Everyday things got worse,
I knew I had to leave,
I knew I deserved better,
I knew I wasn't worth all that,
But I wasn't strong enough to just let go,
I needed you to tell me it was going to be okay,
I wanted to fight for you, but what's the point when I'm fighting with you, for you?
Regardless, I fought...

Ever since the day you came and told me you're with someone else,
That you're sorry but things have to end,
That you nolonger feel the same way about me,
That I'm not an adventurous person and that bores you,
That I need to losen up a bit and learn to have fun,
I knew I had been stupid all along for holding on and hoping things will be better.
And I knew I have been inlove because at that time, my heart was broken
Goodbye my love