la mémoire | pjm

34

"지켜주지 못해서 미안해"

...May 2014...

She was harassed; physically and sexually.

She lost too much blood. The ambulance couldn't bring her to the hospital on time, or maybe it just them; who called the ambulance too late. The doctors had tried their best, but after spending about an hour in the surgery room, the doctors came out with a grieve news.

The cuts were too deep and too much. They couldn't stitch it all, but the doctors said that Da Hye was a strong girl. She could bear when she was got hit here and there, at least just before Jung Kook and Yoo Jin arrived.

"Jung Kook." Yoo Jin approached Jung Kook; who was sitting alone in the lobby. Jung Kook looked up. His eyes met Yoo Jin's. She gave him her sweetest smile; but there was a hint of sadness she couldn't hide there.

"Thank you." He mumbled as he received a can of orange juice Yoo Jin had got for him from the vending machine. The same can of orange juice on her hand as well. She took a sit beside him.

They spent the next few minutes with silence floated on the air. As if they were comfortable with just each other's presence, none of them willing to speak. Or maybe we could just say Yoo Jin was waiting for Jung Kook to say something.

"I need a hug right now. Can you hug me?" Jung Kook asked.

Yoo Jin hugged Jung Kook without words. She patted his back and mumbled a bunch of comforting words to him. He felt bad. Everyone knew that Yoo Jin should be the one who sad the most between them. She was putting much effort on finding Da Hye; remember she was running around the neighborhood 3 times.

"You're strong girl, Yoo Jin." Jung Kook smiled.

"No, I'm not." She declined. Jung Kook knew, no matter how strong Yoo Jin was, she was just a normal human being. She just lose her best friend. He knew that Yoo Jin held back her tears and maybe would crying her eyes out when she was alone later.

Suddenly, Jung Kook felt that he was selfish all these times, and Yoo Jin was the victim of his selfishness. He couldn't forgive himself.

"Yoo Jin, I'm okay now."

"Oh, okay." Yoo Jin was going to release the hug but Jung Kook just hugged her tighter. "Uh, Jung Kook?"

"Since I'm okay now, it's your turn to cry."

Yoo Jin snickered. "I won't cry. Da Hye never liked it." Even though Yoo Jin said so, her tears streamed down at last and she didn't bother to wipe it away.

"Poor Ji Min Oppa..." Yoo Jin mumbled between her tears. Jung Kook sighed and looked up; trying to swallow his tears back. Patting Yoo Jin's back, Jung Kook then added, "It's not one, but two..."

But then the gloomy yet comfortable atmosphere was broken up by the hoarse voice behind them.

"Jung Kook, we need to talk."

^_^

It was like déjà vu when they were sitting side by side on the bench at the hospital garden. It was just same when the girls left Jung Kook and Ji Min to talk. It was Ji Min who looked small and guilty back then, but now it was completely turned the way around. Jung Kook felt small in front of him. The guilty ate him alive at the rate he couldn't utter any words, especially in front of this man, Park Ji Min.

"Jung Kook..." Ji Min sighed. However, Jung Kook just sat there and shut his mouth. It wasn't like he didn't want to say something to Ji Min. He wanted, but he couldn't. Why? He didn't even know.

At least a word 'sorry' should've slipped out from his lips. But Jung Kook found it difficult to just utter that word.

The word sorry isn't enough...

From the corner of his eyes, Jung Kook could see that Ji Min was turned his head toward him and stared at him blankly. When Ji Min moved closer to Jung Kook, the younger boy shut his eyes tightly; expecting to get a hard punch on the face by the older boy.

But Jung Kook was wrong. Instead of a punch, someone engulfed him in a hug. He flinched. Opening his eyes slowly, he wasn't expecting that Ji Min would just hug him. The older boy cried on his shoulder. Park Ji Min was crying.

"I couldn't protect her... It's all my faults."

Jung Kook didn't say anything and just hugged Ji Min back. Patting his back, just like the way he hugged Yoo Jin earlier. Jung Kook was hugging Ji Min for a good few minutes; sighing and mumbling the comforting words at last whilst the older boy cried louder and louder.

^_^