to my mind:
why do you remember like this
why do you make me think like this
of memories of people i can't have
of people who won't have me
of moments that won't repeat themselves.
why do these one day go unnoticed,
thankfully forgotten and cast aside
and the next day most prominent within you.
why do you make me sentimental
you make me feel alone when i am not
you delude me to the good things
the things that i should appreciate
because all you want me to feel is unappreciated.
and you make me feel as such
when i am not.
but i do not know how to avoid you
i do not know how to escape you
and the power you hold over me.
how can i escape myself?
you force me,
somehow,
to feel these horrible feelings
these irrational things
that i should know do not fit with me.
i am liked
i am talented
i am beautiful
i am.
so why is it that you convince me to feel otherwise?
and why do i blame you
when surely the only one to blame is myself.
