Imagines

I Have Questions || Elijah M.

55. "Go then, leave! See if I care."

57. "I waited and waited, but you never came back. That's why I hate you."

77. "Don't apologize if you don't mean it."

Song: I Have Questions - Camila Cabello

***

It's the little things one remembers most, even if you don't think you would. Once it's gone, you notice what a big piece of your life is missing.

For me, it was Elijah. All the small things he did that became apart of my life, and when he left, he left with a piece of me. Things like how it became routine for myself to watch from the bed sheets as he stood in front of the body mirror in his room, putting on his cuff links, the morning light hitting in all the right places to make it magical. Once he was done, he'd come up to me, cupping my cheek, and kissing me. Then, he'd leave me to get dressed in privacy. It was the calls and texts throughout the day checking up on me, even when he was in the middle of something, he'd make the time. Nights spent in his bedroom, glasses of wine, and a fire crackling in the background, laughing the night away.

But something you think you'll have forever can be ripped away from you in a matter of seconds.

***

"I have to leave New Orleans," Elijah said in the middle of my living room, his body made of tension.

"Why?" I take a step around my couch, closer to him, but he obviously didn't want me closer by his body language. "Elijah, what's going on? Why are you leaving?"

"I'm doing it so my enemy's can't get to me or you."

"Then I'll go with you."

"No-"

"Then what's the whole point of running to protect me if I'm here and you're somewhere else?"

"Because they don't know about you."

"Bullshit," I slam my phone - that just so happened to be in my hand - down on the end table next to me, and make my way to Elijah, finger in the air, pointing at him. "That's complete bullshit and you know it! What the hell is going on and why can't I come or help?"

"Goddamn it Y/N," he raised his voice at me for the first time, that was all it took, I took a step back.

"Go then, leave! See if I care. Its obvious you're not going to tell me what's going on, so leave!"

He looked defeated, but respected my decision. Once he got to my front door, back to me, he said: "I will come back for you and explain everything." And walked out the door.

Remember, a matter of seconds.

***

Like I said it's the little things one remembers most, it haunts you like the dooming death that follows everybody. Every time you close your eyes, you see those memories; memories that once brought a smile now bring tears. Things like laughter echo in my head, reaching every dark, empty corner, reminding me of my loneliness.

Its been five years since our first and last fight. Five years of passing the locked up compound, hoping for Elijah's return. Five years of a hope that slowly dimed day by day.

People are right, hope keeps people alive, but as I'm losing it everyday, I die along with it. I was left broken hearted, with no explanation as to why I was left.

It's in those moments of weakness - when everything that's piled on your shoulders turns into the weight of the world - that you scream, break glass, fall to the floor and cry. You'd do anything to avoid the looming pain that follows, but news flash: you can't.

So in my own moment of weakness, with tears blinding my vision, I grab to closest breakable thing, which happened to be the cup I was using, and chunk it across the room, listening in satisfaction as the glass shatters like my heart did five years ago. I fall down crying.

Most of the time, the demon that is running a mock in your head and life doesn't show up in these moments, and I mean in physical form, not your head; mine did.

"Y/N?" Elijah's voice rang out through the room. I turn around finding that the devil himself was standing behind me.

"God, have I really gone insane?"

"Whatever do you mean?" He took a step closer to me.

I snort and turned back around. "I mean, have I really gone so insane that my mind is now conjuring you here?" I brush my fingers over a flame burning a candle's wick, fascinated by it's flicker as I do so and the warming if my skin.

In a blink of an eye, he was crouching down on the opposite side of the coffee table, concern in his brown eyes as he held my glaze. "I'm real dear."

"Don't call me that." I hissed, hatred burning up my being as the old nickname fell from his lips. "You lost that right when you left me five years ago and never came back. Now look at me, this is your doing Elijah Mikaelson."

"I'm so sorry, I never-"

"Don't apologize if you don't mean it." I cut him off, new tears pooling in my eyes.

"I don't know what I did for you look at me with such hatred, but I am sorry Y/N."

I rolled my eyes, "I waited and waited, but you never came back. That's why I hate you." I get up, planting my hands on the table as I lean over it, looking him dead in the eyes. "You left me, not even giving me a reason, but a shitty excuse of 'its to protect you'. Five years of never knowing why, questions haunting me every damn day."

"And I told you that I would explain it all when it was safe." He got in the same position as me. "And I'm sorry that me being gone has torn you apart."

"Well, you're five years too late." I push away from the table, standing up straight, I grab an open whiskey bottle and take a slip. "But you're here now right? Let's forgive and forget."

"Y/N-"

"No Elijah," I snap back at him, cutting him off for the hundredth time tonight. "What exactly was it that you were protecting me from that caused you to leave me for five years, no contact or explanation what-so-ever? Because it obviously wasn't something here in New Orleans because it has been quiet the past five years, a ghost town from danger."

"I was protecting you from myself-"

"Bullshit-"

"Marcel bit me, I was a danger to you, to myself and my family." He moved around the table, closer to me. "That is why I yelled at you, something you know I would never do in the right mind. I had Marcel's venom in me and I had to be put under a spell to save you, my family, and myself." He went to cup my cheek with his hand, but I moved away. "Y/N, I would never intentionally hurt you, and I am sorry that I did."

"But you did Elijah, now please, leave."

He hesitated but went to my front door and stopped, out of the corner of my eye, I seen him look over his shoulder. "I love you, Y/N." And he was gone.

"I love you, too Elijah." A tear slips from my eye as I finally got closure.

***