Still Here

19

I've been in the hospital for a week when a nurse tells me that my family is here to take me home. It's a bit of a drive, so they only ever visited a few times to check on me, but I know we'll be together a lot more now. It makes me think of how my family would have acted if Cara had survived her attempt.

I guess I'm finding out now.

My parents are signing me out. Porter is reading magazines on a couch. My eyes wander until they find AJ and Jasmine, peeking out from a hallway. I smile and motion for them to come to me. They do.

AJ hops toward me, worried. "Are you leaving?"

I nod. "But I promise I'll visit you."

"You better," Jasmine says. She looks sadder than I've ever seen her. My stomach turns. When she finally opens up about her nightmares . . . I leave.

Overwhelmed with guilt, I quickly tear off a corner of Porter's magazine and steal a pen from the receptionist's desk. I scrawl my phone number on it and shove it at Jasmine. "At night," I say, locking eyes with her.

She embraces me gently before I turn to AJ. The hug he gives is the sort of hug that makes you feel endlessly loved and terribly important. When I pull away, he smiles at me and says, "It's really such a shame that Michael gets to be healthy. If he were stuck in this hospital, he'd be getting a hug right now, too."

Jasmine grins. "If he knew what was happening, I'm sure he'd pray for sickness."

AJ's eyes crinkle with mischief. "He'd jump in front of a car."

I shake my head. "Too real."

They both laugh and pat me on the back, still oblivious of the truth.

Before I know it, Mom and Dad are next to me, holding a small laminated card. "It's your pacemaker ID," Mom explains. She's looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to say goodbye to AJ and Jasmine.

I give them both one last weak smile before I'm sent on my way.