Why Do I Always Fall for the Bad Boys?

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Tammy’s POV

To Martin Cooper, who invented the first ever cellular phone and to the late Steve Jobs who recreated and devised the very dandy iPhone, all I can say is you guys are bloody brilliant and awesome in so many levels!

Okay, that was kind of over the top and foolish for me to mentally say those words to dead geniuses. But you couldn’t really blame me, can you? I mean c’mon, I know I’m not the only one who feels this way at some point… Right?

For one whole week since the frat party, Blake and I started texting and keeping in touch through the use of our phones. We started rebuilding our rekindled friendship and mend the broken past we’ve been through. And I guess somehow, I’ve realized that we were both changed individuals in our own way. Blake had become a better version of himself while I, became a person who’d constantly learn from her mistakes. Because that’s what we really are, we are human beings that are capable of acquiring valuable lessons from our past mistakes and through time, correct them, one step at a time.

He knew Danny and I were still together and shockingly, he didn’t even try to make a flirty move or put on a raging fit with the whole situation like the old Blake would normally do, he just calmly replied like a friend would do and throw in miniscule advices here and there. From that moment on, I happily accepted the fact that people do change, some for the better and some for the worst. But Blake definitely changed for the better and I guess you could say I’m proud of him.

To be honest, it was very hard to get Blake out of my mind. It was annoying and comforting all at the same time. It was the kind of feeling when you try to get them out of your head, but there they are every morning and every night, haunting you and making you happy in equal measure. I guess Blake had that effect on me ever since.

But today, I forced myself to temporarily bury the memory of him so I can concentrate on what I had to do at the moment. Today is Danny and I’s second anniversary – March 23, 2014 – since we started dating and all I had planned was to drive all the way to UCLA and surprise him with my mere presence.

Quite a boring and clichéd idea, I know.

Knowing Danny to be quite the person who loves grand romantic gestures, I will surely be a huge disappointment. Basically, when you’re in my shoes and you’re attention is torn in two, thinking about the guy you’ve been dreaming of since high school and an anniversary to plan for a guy you’ve been dating for two years because you care for him, is a hard task to bear with. Especially when the first dilemma consumed seventy percent of your mind compared to the second one.

Whilst reflecting and comprehending on those bothersome thoughts, I immediately grasped the idea of myself never reaching the point of loving, let alone, looking at Danny as the person I’m madly in love with, but I was blinded with the feeling of just loving him as a best friend. Before, it was a nagging feeling in my head that told me to say yes to Danny. It all seemed rational to me back then. I wouldn’t hurt him by rejecting him and it wouldn’t hurt me to give us being a ‘thing’ a chance. It’s the possibilities and what ifs that brought me and Danny together.

I could never be in love with Danny because someone, from way back to two years ago, stole my heart and brought it with him when he left.

It took me approximately two years to admit that to myself, two years after being able to see Blake and reconnect with him and two years of spending time with Danny knowing it wasn’t really love. Pathetic, I know. But I also knew I had to do the right thing and tell Danny. I had to tell him the truth. And that’s exactly what I planned on doing.