Stockholm Syndrome

30: Stockholm Syndrome

30: Stockholm Syndrome

I begrudgingly followed Luke's directions and left my clothing on the counter. I stared at my outfit for a moment. A peachy t – shirt and a pair of jean shorts. He had told me to leave my black strap sandals downstairs before I came up here. I made sure the towel was within reach from the shower before walking into the tub that I had already started warm water for. While I stood under the water, my thoughts were racing.

They went farther back than the doctor visit. I was still caught up on the kiss. Caught up. Confused. Scared. Call it what you will. He kissed me. I kissed him? Problem is I'm not sure what it was. But I didn't like the fact that I was pretty sure about something. I was getting Stockholm syndrome. I thought that was fake. Something only in books and One Direction songs. I really wish it was.

But no. It had to happen. To me... With Luke.

I spent about fifteen minutes trying to talk myself out of it. But when I recalled the feel of his lips on mine, I couldn't help but want it again. And when I recalled his large hand on my side when he steadied me in my dizzy state. I was amazed at the way he always towered over me because of how tall he was. It was impressive that someone who seemed so ruthless could seem so gentle as he wiped tears from your face and tucked hair behind your ears. The way someone like him could whisper in your ear so kindly was ridiculous.

That's it! For another fifteen minutes I tried to convince that I was freaking out over his physical traits and I could never fall in love with his personality. But the other side of myself, the side that I hate right now, told me that I said that because I hadn't seen much of his personality. But I hated the fact that I liked what I had seen. He was quiet. And gentle. And for some reason, he always seemed sincere to me. He formed his sentences gracefully and seemed – despite everything – to somehow have morals. For another three minutes I worked on convincing myself that I was twisting this all around. After that didn't work, I gave up and popped the shower off, trying to ignore the memory of kissing Luke.