Stockholm Syndrome

47: Tell Me

47: Tell Me

I dropped my fork, my hand reaching out to grab his.

"Tell me. What made you so shut off?" I pleaded. "Luke, you know everything about me. Tell me about you. I know something happened in your life."

"After my dad died." Luke finished. "After my dad died and his killer nearly killed myself and my mother as well. Ever since then... ever since then I didn't want people to see that they got to me. I had let the man who killed my father see that he got to me. I cried in front of him, Madeline. I should never have done that." He whimpered. "But months after his death, when we finally got to give my dad a proper funeral... I didn't cry. I didn't let my hand shake when I laid a rose on his coffin. The only sign that it had gotten to me was that I couldn't lift my head without struggle and my bloodshot eyes." He shook his head. "After that... I didn't let people see that they got to me. I dealt with my emotions when I was alone... When my mom remarried to a douche that she couldn't see past the charming wall he put up, I didn't let it get to me. When he slapped her, I didn't let my mom see that it got to me when she told me. Because, no matter how young I was, I was her rock now. I had to do better than my father – in – law. So I let her cry to me and I supported her while she nearly threw up from crying so hard. I bandaged her bleeding forehead after he had drawn blood and helped her sit down in the rocking chair in my room with a cup of tea." He said, his hand shaking underneath mine. "When the guy went after me, I hit back. But I didn't let him see the emotion. Just the blunt force. I gave him a black eye once." He grinned a broken kind of smile. "That's why I'm so shut off. That's why I'm so 'icy.'" He used the word I had used to describe him earlier, emphasizing it.

"You know, we aren't too different." He grinned, looking at me questioningly. "I mean, sure, I've cried in front of you. But back home, I gave up on crying. I didn't have enough energy to cry anymore. To show that much emotion... I was too tired to do that."

"You seem pretty tired now. But you've cried plenty."

"I guess it was wearing me out to hold it in more than I thought. Do you ever get tired? From hiding it from everyone?"

"I don't necessarily get tired of holding it in. I get tired of the people that make me feel that way. They make you feel those emotions in the first place and they make you feel like you have to hide it. You don't make me feel that way. I've shown you more emotion then I've shown a lot of people."