48: Sick to my Stomach
Luke forced me to eat probably half of one of the eggs. By forced I mean he told me to and I couldn't fight him because of the piercing look he gave me. When he asked me to take another drink of water, I shook my head.
"I need a break." I pleaded. He opened his mouth but thought better.
"Are you ok?" He asked after a few moments. I nodded although I was sick to my stomach.
"I need to go lie down." I lied.
"Can I help you get up there?" He offered. I shook my head a little too hastily.
"I'm fine." I assured him quickly. I turned around fast before the tears started blurring down my cheeks. I made it to the bedroom and flashed into the bathroom. Triggering my gag reflex with my finger down my throat, I made myself feel better once I had gotten the food out of my system.
I took a deep breath, flushed the vomit filled toilet, brushed my teeth and walked out.
I whimpered when I was greeted with Luke standing in front of the bathroom door. Letting more tears out, I kept eye contact. He gave me a look and I know he knew. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I begged forgiveness from him. Luke turned for a moment but I was on my knees before he could do whatever he was trying to. "I'm sorry!" I grabbed onto his leg. I held onto it, resting more on the side of my legs now than my knees. He stared down at me for a moment before I looked down. I'm not sure he knew what to do. "I'm sorry." I kept repeating that. I was repeating that when he knelt down, kissed my head gently, and had me stand back up. I was repeating it when I grabbed onto his hand and refused to let go. I squeezed hard. And he let me.
After he convinced me to let go, he grabbed one of his shirts and helped me change without showing too much skin. This was one of his bigger shirts that reached close to my knees. It was a sweater and I balled my fists up, grabbing the clothing material as well. I think he was trying to get me to lay on the bed but I wasn't having it. Everything was blurry but for some reason the bed was the last place I wanted to bed. Eventually, Luke pulled me closer to him, my back pressed to his stomach and then he sat on the floor, pulling me with him. I sat in his lap and I'm pretty sure I fell asleep.
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Stockholm Syndrome
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