Stockholm Syndrome

59: Scared

59: Scared

I forced myself to push away from Luke. He didn't fight me but he didn't necessarily help me up either. He looked up at me as he stayed sitting on the couch.

"I just don't want to get hurt again." I answered his questioning gaze.

"Madeline, I said..." He trailed off, recognizing that I had caught him.

"You never said you wouldn't hurt me. And I know you think through what you say. You had a reason not to say that."

"You know why I didn't say that?" He asked. I stayed silent. "Darling, the truth hurts." I shook my head.

"I know. But I'd rather have it then lies. Because the truth always comes out eventually. It hurts more if it's fabricated by lies."

"Come here." Luke stood and walked out the front door. I hesitantly followed. Luke led me into the woods and we finally made it to a rock overlooking a stream. "This is one of the best thinking places in the world." He told me. "I'll be back at the house. Please don't hurt yourself." By the look he gave me, I know he meant more than just being clumsy. With that, he walked away. I curled up on the rock and sat there until it got dark. It was definitely a few hours.

When I made it back to the house, Luke was dozing on the couch. He rubbed his eyes and watched me from the couch, staying in his position. I made eye contact with him.

"I'm going to bed." I looked at the clock upstairs as I changed clothes. It was only five pm. I shuddered, walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

 My blonde hair was a disaster. My eyes had black circles beneath them. I had tear stains. And my palms were still sore. But I liked the sore feeling, it distracted me from everything else I should have been thinking about. I think that was what Luke was afraid of - me liking it. 

I crawled into the bed and laid with my eyes closed. But I didn't go to sleep. In about an hour, I heard Luke walk upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. He pushed open the door and I heard him change.

He seemed to be debating whether to use the bed or not. I inwardly rolled my eyes and rolled to the side of the bed to create enough space for him to lay down with space between us. The bed dipped and the only thing I felt near me was Luke's hand. I let him snake its way under my own and let him rubbing it lull me into a calmer state.

"Your 'thinking rock' made it so I can't fall asleep." I whined, keeping my eyes closed. Luke didn't seem at all surprised that I was awake.

"Yeah, it'll do that to you. But it also has effects that cause you to fall asleep on top of the rock."

"Have you ever fallen into the stream?" I mumbled.

"No."

"Too bad." I murmured sarcastically. I could tell he good naturedly rolled his eyes.

"I might go throw you into it." He threatened playfully.

"Never." I said, emotionless. I clung onto the bed, mocking fear. All of this happened while my eyes were still closed. Luke chuckled. This morning, I started out afraid of him. But I don't think I was as scared anymore. As he sat, rubbing my hand until I fell asleep, he definitely wasn't as terrifying.