Harry Potter One Shots

Times Change

"I can't believe it's been a year!" Astoria said happily, lying back against Draco.

"I don't know how I've lasted this long," he replied, a smirk in his voice.

She slapped his leg playfully and snuggled back against him. They were silent for a moment, her eyes closed as she relaxed in his warmth, his open, looking at her; her shining blonde hair just brushing her shoulders that was so different from the neat bob it had been when he'd first met her; her smooth forehead, not marked with worry lines as his was; her lips, that's thinness she so often complained about, no matter how many times he told her they were perfect. He stroked her hair back from her forehead and her lips curved into a smile.

"You know Lena still doesn't believe we're dating," she murmured, her green eyes fluttering open. They were the exact same shade of the grass they lay open, and he marveled at this for a while before he registered that she'd spoke.

"Sorry?"

Turning around so she was looking at him, she rolled her eyes.

"I said Lena doesn't believe we're together."

"What?! But it's been so long! How can she not-"

"She says I've always been a woman of my word and that she clearly remembers me saying I would never date you the night after we met."

"Well did you say that?" He questioned, shifting beneath her so she was positioned more comfortably on top of him.

"Well, yeah, because at that stage I didn't think I'd ever date you."

"Huh," he said, looking shocked, his hands flat by his sides.

"Oh come on, Draco, you were such a dick when I first met you, and you know it."

He stared up at her before touching a hand to the side of her face.

"You don't think that now, do you?"

"I mean... we're dating now, so..."

He sat up beneath her so she was straddling his waist, and deliberately not looking at her, reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together.

"But if you met me now, would you hate me as much as you did before?"

Her hand tensed in his and he felt the familiar shield of unfeeling creeping in.

"Honestly?" She said, her voice soft. "You've changed so much, and I don't know if that would have happened without- without me, so if I hadn't taken that chance and finally agreed on going out with you, then you wouldn't be the person you are now."

He tried to extract his hand but she wouldn't let go.

"So you're saying-"

"Draco, I love you, but that other person, that wasn't you. That was a Draco who- who believed he was defined by his family name, who was scared of love because he'd lost so much, who thought he was better than anyone else. That's not you."

Now it was as though Astoria was wrapping the shield around his body, closing him off to the world. Her hand felt like ice in his but still he held onto it. And he spoke through the chink in the shield, the chink in his armour. The chink that was Astoria.

"That person was me, Tori," he said quietly, not daring to look up. "Still is. It's just that I've chosen to let that part of me go, just a little bit, because of you. Every day, I'm terrified I'm going to lose you. I'm scared of the fact I love you, Astoria, because I do, and it hurts so much. And I know that the- the bad part of me is hard to love, but I need you to love it."