Harry Potter One Shots

Sirius Is Sad

"I honestly don't know what to say," James Potter says, staring in disbelief at his best friend Sirius Black.

Sirius takes a deep breath and opens his mouth but James interrupts him.

"You're seriously gay? As in homosexual?"

Sirius nods.

"But this doesn't have to change anything," he says hurriedly, pleadingly.

This is exactly what he feared: James being disbelieving, and having this horrible cold tone to his voice.

"Actually it changes everything," James says bluntly, not looking at Sirius. "I mean, you're in love with me, aren't you?"

Sirius winces because James sounds angry. He closes his eyes as he says, "Yes, I am."

Sirius

Sirius woke suddenly and sat up abruptly, panting heavily, his arms braced stiffly by his sides. He was shaking slightly and his long black hair was plastered to his forehead.

Once his breathing had slowly and he had stopped shivering, he rubbed a hand over his face, almost viciously, and tugged at his hair. This nightmare... He had to do something about it. He was sure James wouldn't really react that way if he told him the truth - well, he was almost sure. At least he wasn't really in love with James. That was something that remained solely within the dream.

Too worked up to sleep, Sirius slid out of bed and decided to take a shower and find something to eat.

He took his shirt off, tossing it onto his bed on the way on his way to the door. Only he missed the bed and got James in the face.

"Aaashimu!" James cried out, swatting frantically at his face to which the shirt was stuck. "What the- Sirius!" He exclaimed when he spotted his friend across the room.

"Shh!" Sirius hissed, tiptoeing over to James's bed.

He glanced at Peter and Remus who slept in the two beds closest to the door, and felt relieved when he realised they were still asleep.

"What are you doing?" James asked curiously, yawning and ruffling his hair.

"Just- just going for a walk," Sirius said nervously.

"Really? What are you doing up at this time? You're the deepest sleeper I know. Did you have a nightmare or something?"

Sirius fumbled for words. He wanted to tell James the truth, but what if James reacted exactly as he had in the nightmare?

"Yeah, nightmare," he muttered eventually.

"You want to talk about it?" James asked in concern.

Sirius hesitated before shaking his head. James frowned - they always shared everything.

"Oh. Okay then. Can I walk with you?" He asked.

"I- I'm sorry James but I really need some alone time, if that's okay," Sirius mumbled, wringing his hands anxiously.

"Yeah of course," James said, though Sirius could hear the hurt in his voice. "You can always talk to me though mate." James grasped his hand quickly before flopping back into his bed.

Sirius watched him for a while as his hazel eyes fluttered shut and his breathing became deep and even. Then he made his way to the bathroom, each step heavy as he contemplated talking to James.

"Sirius?" A girl's voice said in surprise, touching him lightly on the arm.

Sirius turned around to see Marlene, her short black hair, usually so sleek and shiny, frizzy with sleep, her skin pale from lack of makeup. She looked incredibly tired; there were dark circles under her eyes and she appeared to be crumpling into herself.