That Ship Has Sailed

Merlin & Arthur II

"I never said it would be easy, but that doesn't mean I don't want to try! I married you because I love you. Then, all of a sudden, this?!"

Merlin heard the shouting late into the night, clearly audible in the silent prairie. They had been fighting for several nights now and Merlin was paying for it, not only as a butler, but as Arthur's friend as well.

"Arthur, I don't want to talk about this right now! Can we please wait until tomorrow?"

"Well, it seems like the only time you want to bring it up is when we're in bed at night, so why not have it out right now? Just tell me what you're really feeling!"

"Fine!" Came the shout of his wife, "I don't want to sleep with you anymore! I don't want to go for our daily rides and pretend we're this perfect couple. I want to live in the city! I want more for my life than a few, smelly horses and a ranch. My mother and sister are living in New York, happy and going to see plays and mingling with other city folk. I want that, Arthur. I'm sick of seclusion."

"What about my money? I have enough to give you everything you want--"

"Not everything, Arthur. Not a different life. You'd never leave these horses or this ranch."

"I could...for you. To make you happy."

"You're lying! You'd never give this up for me!"

"Why don't you try asking me instead of just assuming?!"

A shriek of frustration and a few slammed doors later, Arthur's wife was outside, in the car, and on her way to town. Merlin lay a few minutes longer in his bed, then sat up, wanting to go check on Arthur.

He waited a few minutes longer, then stood, quietly going up the stairs and entering Arthur's room without knocking. He found the man sitting on his bed, head in his hands.

"Arthur?" he asked quietly.

"What do you want, Merlin?" Arthur snapped.

"I overheard--"

"I suppose the entire countryside overheard. It would've been hard not to. I don't want you interfering, Merlin. Go back to bed."

"But, Arthur--"

"I said go back to bed, Merlin!" Arthur shouted at him.

Merlin nodded slowly and turned to leave the room. Arthur pushed himself off the bed and went to the window on the opposite wall, watching his wife drive away down the road. He sighed and flopped back onto the bed, rubbing his eyes roughly.

Merlin lingered in the doorway, then exited, going back to his own room. The last thing he wanted was to make Arthur upset at him as well.

In the morning, Merlin ignored what had happened the night before and went about his day professionally and routinely. He served Arthur breakfast, addressing him as 'sir.' He cleaned up after him and then went about tidying his various rooms about the house that he'd split with the maid, Lindsay.

Arthur spent most of the day in the den, drinking whiskey and pacing or reading various books, checking the windows quite often.

Merlin served him lunch and Arthur didn't say a single word of thanks or appreciation, but instead, complained about the dryness of the chicken. Merlin brought the half-eaten platter back into the kitchen and dropped it noisily on the counter.

"He says the chicken's too dry," he mumbled, leaning against the counter and picking up an apple, taking a spiteful bite.

"Merlin," Mabel said gently, "He won't be angry forever. Just give him time."

"The last time we were alone together was a month ago. Ever since they started fighting, he doesn't meet me anymore."

"He'll come around. Don't give up on him. It's a confusing thing, Merlin. He's in love with her, but he loves you--"

Merlin shook his head, "He's never told me that. As far as I know, I'm just a distraction to fill in the blank when his wife isn't around..."

"Merlin..." Mabel said gently, walking forward and hugging the man, "Things will work out. Just give him time."

For two months, Merlin gave Arthur time.

Still, Arthur complained about the food, spent his days drinking, and stopped meeting with Merlin twice a week as they had tried to do before.

One evening, as Arthur sat in the den, drinking his whiskey and staring at the wall, blindly, Merlin entered, asking if there was anything he could do for him.

"No. You may go," was Arthur's reply.

Merlin lingered in the room, watching Arthur as he took another gulp, then refilled his glass.

"If I may, sir--" Merlin said.

"What are you still doing here?! I said you may go! Get out!" Arthur shouted, standing from his seat and staggering slightly.

"Arthur, please--" Merlin interrupted, "You're going to get alcohol poisoning the way you're drinking these days. I can't watch you do that to yourself."

Arthur fumed, charging toward Merlin, "How dare you?!" he yelled, throwing his glass at Merlin. Merlin missed it and it crashed against the floor. Arthur then collided with Merlin, sending them both to the floor atop the broken glass. Merlin's arm was cut as Arthur pinned him down, shouting.

"Arthur, please!" Merlin replied, pushing the man away from him. He clutched his arm and seethed in pain, yanking a piece of glass out of his arm. Tears of pain stung his eyes, but Merlin quickly stood and ran out, leaving Arthur on the floor, alone.

Mabel and Lindsay had seen the whole thing and when Merlin left, Lindsay rushed after him to help him clean up his wound while Mabel angrily entered the room with a bucket of cold water. She quickly approached Arthur and dumped the bucket over his head.

"What the hell?!" Arthur shouted.

"Shut up!" Mabel shouted back, "You're a cruel, cruel man, Arthur Pendragon! Merlin has been nothing but kind and supportive to you during this time in your life and all you've done is complain, shout and hurt him!"

Arthur sat in the puddle of water and, when he heard these words, he felt suddenly guilty.

"We all know how you truly feel about him, but apparently he doesn't know. He told me once that he felt he was nothing but a filler while your wife was gone," Mabel spoke softer now, after seeing that Arthur was actually listening.

Arthur sighed, rubbing his eyes, "What do I do?"

"Go to him," Mabel said, "Go apologize and tell him the bloody truth or I'll go get another bucket, but this one will have ice in it."

Arthur nodded, "Okay. Don't get the bucket," he said, pushing himself into a standing position. Mabel nodded and turned to leave, "Mabel," Arthur stopped her.

Mabel turned.

Arthur nodded, "Thank you."

Mabel nodded and left. Arthur sighed and sat back in his chair, pondering over words to say to fix what he had broken with Merlin.