That Ship Has Sailed

Merlin & Arthur III

Making himself go into the kitchen to apologize to Merlin was harder than Arthur expected. He had no idea what he was going to say to the man. He walked to the doorway and heard Lindsay talking to merlin.

"There. It wasn't too deep, so you should be okay. Just keep it clean."

Merlin didn't respond. Arthur hung his head and listened.

"Merlin, don't hate him. He's not himself..."

"I know," Merlin's voice croaked. He cleared his throat and said softly, "I just wish he'd trust me...I love him, Lindsay. But I know he doesn't feel the same way."

"How do you know that for sure?"

"I would've thought he'd be glad to have an out, you know? His wife left him. That wasn't his fault, nor his choice. He could keep his inheritence, his ranch and his family's good name and we could be together..."

"Just give him time. He'll come around."

Arthur walked away now as silently as he'd arrived. He felt pain in his chest and his body was tired. He went back to his bedroom and lay on his bed, rubbing his eyes and hating himself more with every passing moment. He'd led Merlin on and now he had to fix what he'd broken. So, after setting an alarm for five o'clock, he lay down and fell asleep.

When his alarm awoke him at the crack of dawn, Arthur got quickly out of bed and scrawled a note, setting it on his bedside table before hurrying to get ready and leave. His day was going to be a long one and he needed an early start.

Merlin awoke at seven and got up to prepare Arthur's breakfast. He brought it into the den first, assuming Arthur would have fallen asleep in his chair as he'd been doing for the past few months. When he didn't find him there, he went to Arthur's room and knocked.

No response came.

He knocked again and again, then entered, finding the room empty and the bed, made.

He set the tray down and looked around, trying to find Arthur, a panicked feeling speeding his heart rate.

Finally, he found the note and sunk to the floor, unable to control his tears any longer.

Lindsay found him a short while later, having been cleaning nearby and heard him, and quickly got Mabel. Together, the women tried to console Merlin, but when they saw the note, they understood the young man's pain.

"Come with us, dear," Mabel told him, gently helping him stand, "Let's go have breakfast together."

Merlin started to fight them, but was too tired to do much, so he allowed himself to be led to the kitchen. Once there, Lindsay gave him water and rubbed his back in comfort. It worked and Merlin began calming down, though he still clutched the note.

"Why would be do this?" Merlin asked, finally.

"I don't know, Merlin. We'll have to wait and see when he comes back."

"If he comes back," Merlin sniffed.

"Don't talk like that," Lindsay said firmly, "He will come back. He wouldn't leave the horses or us like that."

Merlin shook his head, "He's going to New York, Lindsay. He's leaving for her and he's not coming back. There's no point anymore!"

Merlin stood to leave and Mabel told Lindsay to let him. He left the room and soon, the house.

Lindsay watched from a window, seeing him take off on his horse, Gwaine, through the fields. She sighed and returned to the kitchen.

"He's gone. Took off on Gwaine through the fields..."

"Let him have some time alone."

"Seems like that's all he's been having recently. Arthur hasn't met him in months. But he still goes, twice a week, religiously."

"I know, Lindsay. We just have to give him time and space while he mourns."

"What if Arthur really doesn't come back?"

Mabel shook her head, "I don't know, but I love Merlin as if he were my son. I don't want to see him get hurt."

"Me neither. He's like a brother to me. I just wish I could do something."

"Give him time," Mabel instructed, "Finish his chores for him so he needn't worry. Then we'll make him a special dinner and eat it together, here in the kitchen."

Lindsay agreed and slid off the counter where she'd been sitting, obeying the wise instructions of Mabel.

Hours passed. Merlin was still gone and Lindsay began to worry even more.

"Mabel, what are we going to d-"

"Merlin!" A shout came from the far side of the house as well as the bang of a door opening. Mabel and Lindsay jumped with fright. The shout repeated itself and the two hurried out to see Arthur standing in the hall, looking around.

"Mabel, Lindsay, where's Merlin?"

"He's not here," Lindsay said, "He got your note and he left. We haven't seen him since this morning."

"It's nearly ten--" Arthur stammered, "Where could-Okay, just-make something hot for him to eat. I'm going to go find him. This is all my fault..."

"Darn right it is," Mabel spoke up, "You broke his heart, Arthur! None of us expected to ever see you again!"

"What--you misunderstood--I went to New York to sign the divorce papers that she sent me yesterday. She's left me and she's gone forever. I told my parents I'm keeping the ranch and all of you. They--gah, I don't have time for this--I have to go find Merlin!"

With that, he left. He ran to the stables and tacked his horse, taking off into the night in search of Merlin.