That Ship Has Sailed

Merlin & Arthur IV

Hours dragged by in the dungeons. It was quiet and dark and cold as Merlin stood there, tied securely. He could get out, but he didn't want to. Not this time.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps and looked up, sleepily.

"Merlin, what happened to you?" Arthur's quiet voice came through the darkness

"I resisted," Merlin admitted, sighing.

"I thought you had ways?" Arthur challenged quietly.

Merlin looked at Arthur with tired eyes, "Not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't care what happens to me any more. You aren't going to fight, so neither am I."

"Merlin, I was wrong," Arthur whispered. "Morgana talked some sense in to me and you were right. I'm terrified. I'm afraid of what my father will think or what he will do to me. The consequence is death, Merlin. Are you really ready to die for this?"

"If it's death or having to live without being with you, I choose death," Merlin said quietly, staring right into Arthur's eyes.

Arthur punched the cell bars with his fist, "Stop talking like that," he commanded, "I'm choosing to fight this and that means you have to fight with me."

Merlin shook his head, "Not this time. I'm ready to die, Arthur. I've lived enough, seen enough--besides, by dying, I'm protecting you and Gaius."

"What does Gaius have to do with this?" Arthur demanded, "You keep bringing him up. Why is he in danger when you and I are the homosexuals and not him?"

"Because," Merlin replied with a tired grin, "He's been harboring a sorcerer for the past three years."

Arthur started to protest, but then the pieces began falling in to place. He looked at Merlin and his thoughts went back to all the things he'd done. All the beatings he'd taken when he could have stopped it. All the people he fought for and saved in ways that Arthur hadn't understood at the time. He hit the bars again, then dropped his forehead against the cold metal.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You're the son of the king. I was protecting you and Gaius, but I don't care anymore. That's why I'm here, ready to face my punishment."

"Merlin, please, don't do this. We can fight this together."

"You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that after all this time. But I'm done fighting."

"Merlin, I--" Arthur stopped, looking around to make sure no one was nearby, then he looked back and lowered his voice, "I haven't even had a chance to--tell you the truth or to--to kiss you."

Merlin smiled again, an exhausted smile, a tear dripping off his cheek, "Just hearing you say this to me is enough."

"Well it isn't enough for me," Arthur said angrily, pounding the bars again, "If I had my key, I would unlock this door and--"

Suddenly, the door silently slid open. Arthur looked confused, then saw Merlin smile and ignored it, stepping into the cell. He hesitated, still on the other side of the doors.

"The door is open," Merlin said, "But I'm too tired to fight. If you want this, you'll have to prove it to me. It's all on you now."

Arthur paused, then stepped forward and past the door. He walked to Merlin and stood before him, looking into his eyes. Merlin's face was dirty and he looked tired. Arthur reached up to untie his hands, but Merlin told him not to.

"I have to be like they left me. Otherwise they'll suspect something."

Arthur nodded, lowering his hand, "Are you hurt?" he asked.

"No more than I have been before."

"So all those times - you were never at the tavern, were you? Or harvesting herbs for Gaius. You were fighting, or you were risking your life to save people."

Merlin smiled, "It gets exhausting."

"When I'm king, things will change, Merlin."

"Yes, but when will that be? Without killing Uther, there is no way you will be king in time to save me."

"Then I'll kill him."

Merlin shook his head, "No. You won't. You can't. Just like you can't kiss me, even though I opened the door and have no way of stopping you...Magic isn't contagious, Arthur," Merlin quietly laughed.

Arthur stood, staring at Merlin, "I'm not going to hide any more."

"Good."

Arthur took a step forward so he was closer to Merlin than he'd ever been. He could hear his heart beat, slow and steady, no fear or panic, opposite to his own. He began to look behind him, but Merlin said, "No one is around. No one here but us."

Arthur nodded and looked at Merlin again. He cleared his throat and leaned forward slightly. Suddenly, he felt something on the back of his head and then, his lips were against Merlin's. he closed his eyes and stepped closer, daring to touch Merlin's body. His hands sloppily went around his waist, but when Merlin winced, the kiss broke.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked quickly.

"Nothing," Merlin said, "It's nothing."

"Did they beat you?"

Merlin paused, his sad eyes looking toward Arthur, "Homosexuals aren't exactly treated with care around here. Especially after trying to escape."

Suddenly, Arthur felt something against his cheek and turned to see a rope floating in mid air. Merlin chuckled, "I'm sorry," he admitted, the rope dropping, "You were taking too long and I wanted to touch you."

"Let me untie you. Then you can touch me for real," Arthur replied.

"No," Merlin said, "I have to stay here," his eyes closed now, "But thank you."

"For what?"

"That kiss. Now I can die in peace."

"I'm not going to let that happen," Arthur said firmly.

Merlin shook his head slowly. Arthur tried to untie him, but Merlin lifted the rope again, pushing Arthur away. Arthur struggled against the rope, but it pushed him out of the cell and shut the door. Arthur pounded his fist against the metal bar, "I'm going to get you out of here," he said, fire burning in his eyes. Merlin let the rope out to take Arthur's hand and Arthur held it for a moment.

"Arthur," Morgana said, rounding the corner, "We have to go. Its nearing dawn and Uther will be coming soon."

Arthur held the rope and looked at Merlin.

"Arthur, we have to go, now," Morgana said, taking his arm and pulling him away. Arthur held the rope until it slipped from his fingers. Merlin watched until Arthur was pulled out of his sight. Then, the rope returned to the cell and dropped to the floor.